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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25851721">Meet Me On The Ice</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOnIce/pseuds/AceOnIce'>AceOnIce</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alec Lightwood Has Anxiety, Alternate Universe - Skating, Anxiety, Depression, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Self-Harm, figure skating</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:00:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,093</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25851721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOnIce/pseuds/AceOnIce</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus is at the top of men's figure skating, with a solid winning streak, but he's no longer interested in the sport- until he meets Alec Lightwood. </p><p>Alec is a pairs skater struggling with competition anxiety whose life takes a turn for the better when he's approached by Magnus Bane. </p><p> </p><p>AKA the figure skating AU nobody asked for but I wanted to write.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Malec Discord Mini Bang 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Magnus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic was created for the Malec Discord Mini Bang 2020 hosted by the <a href="https://discord.gg/5nBgEp8">Malec Discord Server</a>.</p><p>The wonderful art is by <a href="https://koryandr.tumblr.com/">Kory</a> so please check out her Tumblr because she's fantastic. All of the art, unless otherwise mentioned in the notes, was made by her!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Magnus meets Alexander Lightwood at a skating competition.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warnings for mentions of self-harm via skin picking.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p><b><em>Magnus </em> </b>   </p><p>For someone whose earned an entire wall full of figure skating medals, Magnus thinks he should enjoy the sport a little more than he does. He doesn’t hate skating. He’s just... tired. All the time. And<em> lonely</em>. And no longer gets any joy out of competing.  </p><p>At twenty-five Magnus is practically ancient in the competitive skating world. Every season he gets increasingly more invasive questions about when he plans to retire, how his body is holding up, if his injury from three years ago still bugs him. (The answers to which are, in order; ‘when he feels ready’, ‘his body is just fine, thank you’, and ‘yes, but it doesn’t stop him’.)   </p><p>He’s won every competition there is. He holds the world records for short program, free skate, and total combined score. He’s made enough money to support himself for the remainder of his life. He could retire. He might if the idea didn’t terrify him. Skating is the only thing he’s ever been good at, he doesn’t know what else he could possibly do. </p><p>“You’re in your head again,” Dot says as they enter the rink side by side. Magnus' practice isn’t for another hour and Dot’s is an hour after that, but Raphael had wanted to meet up there. </p><p>Magnus ignores Dot’s rather accurate analysis, more focused on the doors separating the lobby from the ice. There are two volunteer bouncers on either side who nod them through when they flash their skater passes.  </p><p>The doors open and Magnus instantly feels a little more at home.    </p><p>He’s grown accustomed to the sound of blades scraping on ice, the instant drop in temperature, the smell of ice and sweat. Magnus thinks there’s very little he would find as comforting- yet another reason he dreads retiring.    </p><p>Magnus scans the space for Raphael, but before he finds him, his eyes catch on a pairs team currently running through their program. He watches as the man briefly lifts the woman over his shoulder for a fancy spin before he sets her down and joins her in synchronized footwork across the ice.    </p><p>It’s impressive. Skating at this level is always impressive- even if Magnus doesn’t know much about pairs skating. But it’s not the technical difficulty that draws his attention. The artistic element is nice, but it’s only a small factor. No, Magnus is drawn to that specific pair for one very clear reason.  </p><p>The guy is <em>hot.  </em> </p><p>His shirt clings to his muscles and he stands at least a foot taller than his partner. And his ass? In his practice pants? Delectable. </p><p>“You’re drooling,” Dot tells him, a hint of amusement in her voice as they move closer to the ice to lean against the barricade. There are several teams practicing at the moment, but Magnus tracks the couple he’d originally landed on.    </p><p>He watches as the man lifts the woman again, this time throwing her into a jump. The guy makes it look effortless and she lands with ease before grasping his hand and letting him pull her into a sit spin. The way they move together, easy and graceful, is almost addicting to watch. It’s as if they’re making the music rather than simply keeping in time with it.   </p><p>“Can you blame me?” Magnus responds belatedly as the program draws to a close. The man is stopped in the center of the ice, his partner supported in his arms in a dip. Magnus can see they’re both out of breath, glistening with sweat under the bright rink lights.   </p><p>“Dot! Magnus!” He reluctantly draws his eyes away from the <em>Adonis </em>of a skater to greet Raphael.  </p><p>Raphael is dressed more appropriately than either of them for the chill of the ice rink, but his cheeks are still a light shade of pink that suggests he’s been there a while, watching the practices. “I was worried you might have gotten lost.”   </p><p>Magnus rolls his eyes. “We were here this morning to pick up our passes.”   </p><p>“Magnus got distracted,” Dot betrays him instantly. She points to the couple that has gravitated to the side of the rink to practice a jump, letting another couple take up the majority of the ice to practice their program.    </p><p>“Of course you did,” Raphael responds, disdain obvious in his voice. He steps closer to the ice, waving over a pair of skaters. The girl has brilliant red hair and an eager smile while the guy is brunet with a round face. They skate over and Raphael introduces them as Simon Lewis and Clary Fray.   </p><p>Magnus greets them, only half paying attention. The attractive skater is practicing lifts now and Magnus really can’t be blamed for staring at the way his muscles bulge. His long sleeves are rolled up almost to his shoulders, putting them on clear display.    </p><p>“That’s Alec and Lydia,” Clary says, following his gaze. “They train with us in New York.”   </p><p>Magnus raises an eyebrow. “Are they together?”   </p><p>“Definitely not. Lydia's married though.”   </p><p>“It isn’t Lydia I’m interested in,” Magnus tells her with a wink. He’s never been secretive about his orientation and most of his fans had long since accepted his bisexuality. Still, he’s always worried it will cause divides between him and other skaters. And sometimes it has.    </p><p>But Clary only grins back at him. “Alec is openly gay. And painfully single.”   </p><p>Simon’s face is horrified when he jumps into their conversation. “Clary! Alec’s going to be pissed.”   </p><p>“Not if I’m the reason Magnus asks him out,” she says, brushing a stray hair away from her face, back towards where most of it’s pulled into a tight ponytail. She glances across the ice. “We need to keep training, but I’ll tell Alec you want to meet him.”   </p><p>“Thank you darling,” Magnus says before she skates away, a firm grip on Simon’s wrist, pulling him after her.    </p><p>Raphael rolls his eyes. “Seriously?”   </p><p>“What? I admire his skating.”   </p><p>“And his body,” Dot adds just loud enough for both of them to hear, a mischievous smile on her face.    </p><p>Magnus smirks back at her, not bothering to deny it. He runs a hand through his hair, wishing he’d put more effort into his appearance. He hadn’t wanted to go all out when he would have to change into training clothes (and ultimately sweat off any makeup and hair product) soon, but now he wishes he’d at least worn a bit of lip gloss.   </p><p>“Dios mio, I can’t be here for this,” Raphael mutters. “Meet me outside in five.”   </p><p>“Good luck,” Dot says, tapping his shoulder before trailing Raphael. Magnus turns back to the ice as Alec glides to a stop on the other side of the waist-high barrier. He’s even more stunning up close. Sweat has matted his hair to his forehead and he’s slightly out of breath, but his eyes are shining and his lips are full and pink.    </p><p>Magnus has to force himself not to stare too blatantly, holding out a hand over the barrier in offering, “Magnus Bane.”   </p><p>“Yeah, I- I know who you are,” Alec says as he reaches out. His hand is warm and large in Magnus’ own for the second he gets to hold it.  </p><p>In that time he notices the skin around some of Alec’s nails is red. Dried blood is smeared on the edge of his thumb nail. Magnus feels a tug at his heart at the sight of wounds he knows come from anxiety. Likely pre-competition jitters that became too much. Before he can contemplate brining it up, Alec is talking again.   </p><p>“Clary said you wanted to talk to me?” He looks confused by the words.   </p><p>Magnus gives him a charming smile, leaning closer to the barrier. “I may have mentioned I enjoyed watching you skate just now.”   </p><p>“That- we, I mean, I messed up one of the lifts,” Alec brushes his hair back away from his face.   </p><p>“I certainly didn’t notice,” Magnus says honestly, “but I was a little distracted by,” he gestures to the entirety of Alec’s body and delights when Alec’s cheeks turn slightly pinker.   </p><p>Alec’s eyes are wide as he stares at him. He takes so long to respond that Magnus begins to worry he<em> broke </em>the other skater.    </p><p>“I-”   </p><p>Of course, that’s when Alec’s partner slides to a stop beside them, a bottle of water in her hand. “Alec, what’s going on? We need to keep practicing.”   </p><p>Magnus gives her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I wanted to speak to him, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”   </p><p>“You’re Magnus Bane,” Lydia states, eyes widening slightly. “Two-time Olympic gold medalist?”   </p><p>“The one and only.”   </p><p>Lydia studies him then glances at Alec who still appears a little flustered. “You have two minutes, this isn’t the time for flirting.”   </p><p>She’s already skating away from them when Alec calls, “I wasn’t flirting.”   </p><p>“I was,” Magnus states, placing an elbow on the partition so he can be that much closer to Alec. Alec looks flustered all over again which would be adorable if they weren’t on a two-minute time constraint. “I don’t want to distract you, but could I get your number?”   </p><p>Alec gives a hesitant nod so Magnus digs his phone out of his pocket and flips through to create a new contact. He hands it to Alec who types in his number before handing it back.   </p><p>“Wonderful,” Magnus says, saving the contact. “I’ll text you.”   </p><p>“Okay.”   </p><p>Magnus gives him a small, earnest smile. “It was wonderful meeting you Alec.”   </p><p>“You too,” Alec breathes as he takes a step back. “I’ll uh, see you later?”   </p><p>“Absolutely,” Magnus promises, getting a nod in response before Alec turns and skates back to Lydia. Magnus watches him for a moment before remembering his friends are waiting for him. He sighs and pushes away from the ice, typing out a text that he knows Alec won’t see until later.    </p><p><b> <em> Nice meeting you pretty boy. ~Magnus </em> </b>   </p><p>  </p><p>Twenty minutes later and Magnus, Raphael and Dot are seated in a small café down the street from the rink. It’s a cute little coffee shop that feels almost out of place amongst the towering buildings of Las Vegas.    </p><p>Raphael is sipping at a juice bottle while Dot munches down a small salad. Magnus folds his hands around his caramel latté, knowing the sweet syrup violates his diet plan but unwilling to subject himself to a flavorless coffee.    </p><p>“How long have you been in Vegas?” Dot asks around a bite of salad.    </p><p>“I flew in yesterday morning,” Raphael answers. “Clary, Simon, and I explored a bit.”   </p><p>Dot pouts, “Lucky. We didn’t get here till almost midnight.”   </p><p>Raphael raises an eyebrow at Magnus, “Don’t they let you do whatever you want, since you’re the ‘undefeated champion’ or whatever?”   </p><p>“I still have to train like the rest of you.”   </p><p>He sees both of them roll their eyes. Raphael leans back in his chair. “I’m going to end your streak tomorrow you know.”   </p><p>Magnus isn’t fazed. “Between you and Meliorn, I don’t anticipate an easy win.”   </p><p>“You guys are ridiculous. This is why I’m not friends with any of the other women’s skaters,” Dot mutters.    </p><p>“It’s all in good fun,” Magnus assures her though the twitch in Raphael’s cheek makes him wonder. They’ve been friends for nearly three years and Magnus has continuously beaten Raphael at every competition they’d both skated at.    </p><p>It isn’t that Raphael wasn’t a good skater- he is, in fact, one of the best; as could be ascertained from the fact he’d been assigned to two grand prix events this season. The many medals he’d collected over the years didn’t hurt either.  </p><p>It’s simply that Magnus is almost unbeatable. He’d started landing quads consistently before anyone else was trying them. When he got his quad lutz it made his GOE and technical score go through the roof. Combined with Ragnor’s skilled choreography, he’d proved time and time again he was a force to be reckoned with.    </p><p>“I heard Lorenzo put a quad flip in his free skate,” Raphael says suddenly.    </p><p>“That’s unsurprising, he was landing them last season. He should’ve used it for Worlds.”    </p><p>Lorenzo is one of Magnus’ biggest competitors technically, but he lacks the artistry he needs to truly gain an edge. Raphael, on the other hand, could easily win if he could get his quad flip or quad lutz consistent. Meliorn, as well, would excel with a single quad as his scores were already pushing to break the records Magnus had set. His flexibility allowed him an arsenal other male skaters simply couldn’t achieve.    </p><p>Magnus wonders if competing would be fun again if any of them were a real risk to his spot and immediately feels guilty for thinking that way. He can’t afford to underestimate them.  </p><p>He glances at Dot, “You’re competing against Isabelle tomorrow.”   </p><p>“Oh, you mean Alec’s sister?” She grins at his shocked look.    </p><p>“How did I not know?” Magnus groans. It should have been obvious, there were a good amount of physical similarities between the two. Even more he wonders how he’d never seen Alec skate before. Sure, he hadn’t paid attention to pairs, but he thinks a man like Alec would’ve been impossible to miss.   </p><p>“If you hadn’t been so busy checking him out,” Raphael mutters. “You might have been able to put two and two together”   </p><p>Magnus rolls his eyes. “If I remember correctly, you used to have a giant crush on Isabelle.”   </p><p>“I liked her skating,” Raphael huffs.   </p><p>Dot snorts at them, “We get it, you both have a thing for the Lightwood siblings. Come on, you two have practice in fifteen, we should get back to the rink.”   </p><p>They follow after her with twin pouts on their faces that each would deny.   </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Alec</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alec prepares for his date with Magnus.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <em>  </em> </b>
</p><p><b><em>Alec </em> </b>   </p><p>Alec doesn’t get star-struck over other skaters anymore.  </p><p>He’s been competing internationally for seven years with the last four years in the seniors’ division. He’s met almost every skater he’s ever admired. He had been star-struck at first, over several skaters, but he’s gotten over it.   </p><p>Magnus Bane might be the exception.   </p><p>Not only is Magnus a brilliant skater that Alec has strived to imitate, but he’s also unfairly gorgeous. And he’d been<em> flirting with Alec.  </em>   </p><p>A fact that Alec doesn’t fully grasp until practice comes to an end and reality catches up to him. He sits on the bleachers next to Lydia, tugging off his skates and trying not to freak out. Because Magnus Bane had noticed him, had asked about him, had flirted with him- had gotten his phone number.    </p><p>“That was a good practice,” Lydia says as she pulls the hard guards off the blades of her skates, replacing them with soft blue soakers to keep the blades from rusting. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”   </p><p>Alec is embarrassed to realize he’d almost forgotten the reason they were practicing, his thoughts focused around Magnus. He can’t be blamed for the fact that Magnus demands attention. Okay, he probably can be, but he figures the Grand Prix series deservers a lot of attention as well.  </p><p>Skate America, the first event of the season is also his and Lydia's first assignment. If they win here and at NHK later on, they’ll make it to the final. Where they’d come in third last season. A result that had left both of them itching to make up for it with a gold medal.    </p><p>“Yeah, we’re going to do great.”   </p><p>She smiles back at him, seemingly content with his statement, but there’s a tension around her eyes. “I know you’re excited about Magnus and that’s great, just, make sure you don’t let him distract you.”   </p><p>Coming from anyone else it would have sounded overly controlling, would have put Alec on edge. But he’s known Lydia for over a decade. She’s as invested in their skating as he is and he would never want to ruin it for her- not like he had at the last Grand Prix Final.    </p><p>So he doesn’t get upset. He simply nods and puts his skates into his workout bag. “Could you not mention it to Luke?”    </p><p>Alec likes their coach, he knows Luke Garroway is a good man, but he’s not ready for the drama- or another concerned speech- just because he gave a guy his phone number. Lydia agrees easily, “Of course. But I think it’s Clary you’ll have to worry about, not me.”   </p><p>He groans and looks across the bleachers where the redhead is talking excitedly to their shared coach. Indeed, it seems it’s Clary he should be worried about. He knows she’s a talented skater, but she’d brought nothing but chaos when she and Simon had transferred to their team.    </p><p>“Do you think she’s already told him?”   </p><p>Lydia follows his gaze as they stand, sliding their bags over their shoulders almost in sync. “No, he’d be looking at you- probably grinning. I think you still have a shot at intervening.”   </p><p>They cross the space of the bleachers to meet their coach and Simon and Clary. Simon is sitting on the bleachers, finishing putting his skates in his bag, but Clary is pacing, still wearing hers, but at least having had the sense to put her guards on. Luke's face lights up when they approach, and Alec feels the dread curl in his stomach.   </p><p>“I heard you got a date,” their coach says as soon as they’re within hearing range.   </p><p>Alec barely resists the urge to roll his eyes.<em> Clary</em>. To her credit, she stops pacing to give him an apologetic smile that he knows isn’t sincere. He narrows his eyes in return. “It’s not a big deal.”   </p><p>“I don’t think you’ve dated anyone in the long time I’ve known you,” Luke muses.   </p><p>“It’s not a date,” Alec grumbles, glaring at the redhead who’s finally moved to sit and take off her skates.    </p><p>Luke chuckles. “I’m not going to stop you from pursing anything, but be careful. Magnus Bane has a bit of a reputation.”   </p><p>Alec thinks he would be glad if the ground decided to open up and swallow him right then. He looks away, watching as the Zamboni makes its way onto the ice and the next practice group- the men's division- wander in. Alec looks away before he tries to search out Magnus.    </p><p>His cheeks are burning as he asks, “Can we focus on the competition?”   </p><p>“Alright, alright,” Luke’s tone is placating and there’s a small, smug smile on his face, but he moves the conversation to focus on the competition before sending them off.    </p><p>Alec definitely doesn’t glance at where Magnus is warming up on the ice on his way out. And if he does, he definitely doesn’t admire the way Magnus pants cling to him.    </p><p>Nope. He’s<em> totally focused on the competition. </em>   </p><p>  </p><p>It’s not until after Alec’s returned to his hotel room, showered off and changed into sweats, that he thinks to check his phone.   </p><p>He has three messages, one from his mother asking how practice went, one from Isabelle asking if he wants to get dinner after her practice tonight, and a third from an unknown number.   </p><p><b> <em> Nice meeting you pretty boy. ~Magnus </em> </b>   </p><p>Alec is glad Magnus isn’t there to see how flustered a single text makes him. He takes the time to save Magnus’ contact information so he can think through his response. Going by the time, Magnus should be practicing for another forty minutes so Alec doesn’t think he’ll be checking his phone any time soon.  </p><p>Still, he can’t just ignore Magnus’ text now that he knows it’s there. So, as he munches down on an apple from the mini fridge- because practice, especially with this amount of stress, always leaves him famished, he formulates a response.   </p><p>It takes him several tries before he decides on a simple,   </p><p><b> <em> Hi Magnus. </em> </b>   </p><p>He thinks about signing his name, but Magnus already knows it’s him. He contemplates trying to flirt back, but when he tries it comes out stilted and awkward. He settles on the greeting before responding to his mother.   </p><p>He’s in the middle of answering Isabelle’s text when his phone buzzes with another notification.   </p><p><b> <em> Want to get dinner tonight?  </em> </b>   </p><p>It’s Magnus. Magnus who should still be at practice and not on his phone. Alec chews on his lip as he weighs his options. He thinks Isabelle will forgive him if he doesn’t eat with her tonight. She has Clary and Simon and she’s always complaining that he needs to date more. But the thought is as terrifying as it is exciting.   </p><p>A date with Magnus Bane. Alec’s tempted to make an excuse, driven entirely by anxiety, but he doesn’t think he’ll ever get this chance again and he’s surprised by how disappointed he would be if he missed this opportunity.    </p><p>He gathers his nerves and responds,<b> <em>Yes. I’m staying at </em></b><b><em>the Mariott down the street from the rink</em></b><b><em>. Can we meet near here? </em> </b>   </p><p><b> <em> I’ll be there at 8. </em> </b>   </p><p>Alec smiles at the instant response, but doesn’t reply. He figures one of them should be responsible about ensuring Magnus is able to actually make good use of his practice time.   </p><p>It’s only five so Alec has a few hours before his date to properly stress about it. He frowns at his sweatpants, thinking he’s going to have to find something decent to wear.    </p><p>He groans and lies back on his bed.  </p><p>He’s going to have to go shopping and he’s going to need to enlist his sister’s help because he doesn’t know anything about fashion and he’s seen the kind of stuff Magnus wears. There’s no way that anything Alec brought with him is going to be good enough.   </p><p>He swallows his pride and texts Isabelle for help.   </p><p>She is, predictably, ecstatic. She meets him at his room and drags him out of the hotel, complaining about his fashion sense. “Honestly, Alec, what if I hadn’t been assigned to Skate America? What would you do without me?”   </p><p>“Probably show up in this.”   </p><p>She looks over his outfit, the jeans and a T-shirt he’d changed into for shopping, with clear disdain. “Old jeans and a wrinkled sweater? How would you get a second date looking like that?”   </p><p>“I doubt there will be a second date anyways.” At Isabelle’s curious look, he expands on his statement, “Magnus lives and trains in California, I’m never going to see him after this.”   </p><p>“You’ll see him at the final.”   </p><p>“If I make it to the final,” Alec mutters as Isabelle comes to a stop in front of a store with well-dressed mannequins in the front window.    </p><p>She crosses her arms and fixes him with her best glare. “Don’t say that, of course you and Lydia will make it. And so will I. Besides, long-distance is a thing.”   </p><p>Alec has too many arguments for each statement she makes, but he knows she won’t appreciate them so he picks at the skin around his thumb nail- a bad habit he can’t seem to break- and lets her lead him into the store.    </p><p>He follows her around as she sizes up the pants first and then some button-ups, occasionally handing one or two things to Alec to hold. He tries to feel grateful instead of overwhelmed, quietly wishing he’d brought something nice from home.   </p><p>“Magnus trains with Dorthea Rollins right?” Isabelle asks as she looks over a collection of expensive suit jackets. “She has her triple axel.”   </p><p>“So do you,” Alec reminds her, shuffling the clothes in his arms to hold them better. “You’ve got this, Izzy.”   </p><p>She sighs and runs a hand over her intricate braid. “I know, it’s just... she’s really good. I barely beat her at worlds.”   </p><p>“But you<em> did </em>beat her,” Alec says, nudging her.   </p><p>A hint of a satisfied smile spreads over her face. “Yeah I did.” She grabs a dark blue jacket and adds it to the pile on Alec’s arms. “Go try some of these on. Will you need a tie?”   </p><p>Alec grimaces. “I hope not.”   </p><p>“Where are you going?” His silence must be answer enough because he gets an eye-roll in response and a muttered, “<em> Helpless </em>. Go, go change, I have to be at the rink in thirty.”   </p><p>He listens before she decides to go off on him completely. He slinks into a dressing room and begins trying on the first pair of pants she’d picked out.   </p><p>Outside the door, Isabelle asks, “How are you feeling about tomorrow?”   </p><p>Alec pauses, glancing at his hands and grimacing at the dried blood on the edge of his thumb nail. He doesn’t think anyone at this level is immune to pre-competition jitters, but he also knows the way his anxiety completely overpowers him isn’t common. Isabelle has her own bouts of worries, but she’s never had a breakdown before skating. She’s never picked her fingers until they bled.   </p><p>“Fine,” Alec answers vaguely, pulling on one of the shirts without looking closely at it. He pulls the jacket on and studies his appearance. He looks... nice. Of course, he does. Isabelle knows fashion. He opens the door and gets a grin from Isabelle.   </p><p>“It looks great,” she says, fixing the collar.    </p><p>“Do you think it’s enough? Or too much?” Alec tugs at one of the jacket sleeves. It feels like too much. But he remembers the pictures he’s seen of Magnus off the ice and it feels like not enough.   </p><p>“It’s great, but if you want to try on something else, I picked out plenty.”    </p><p>He goes back into the dressing room to shuffle through his options. “How are you feeling?”   </p><p>“Nervous,” she answers. “I just really want to win gold on Saturday.”   </p><p>Alec hums in understanding. “Clary and Simon have gotten better.”   </p><p>“So have you and Lydia.”   </p><p>Alec tries on a darker button-up, leaving the rest of his ensemble in place. It’s more <em> him.  </em>He opens the door again, feeling only a little ridiculous. “What do you think?”   </p><p>She nods her approval. “You look great, Magnus is going to love it.”   </p><p>He shuts the door again before she can see his flush and changes back into the clothes he’d worn there. “We’re on for IHop tomorrow?”   </p><p>It’s become a tradition for them to meet at the restaurant chain on the first day of every competition. What had started as a simple coincidence and the mere existence of an IHop near Alec’s first senior competition had turned into a regular occurrence.    </p><p>“Of course. Unless you’re too tired from your date.”   </p><p>Alec groans at the not so subtle reference to his sex life. “I’m skating tomorrow, Lydia would kill me if I did anything to wear myself out tonight.”    </p><p>“Still. Magnus Bane. I bet it would be worth it.”   </p><p>Alec, dressed in his own clothes, the new outfit slung over his elbow, opens the door of the dressing room to narrow his eyes at his sister. She smiles innocently back. “Ready to go?”   </p><p>He nods, nerves building under his skin again. Pre-date and pre-competition anxiety. A delightful mix that makes him feel a little sick to his stomach. He buries it under a blank face and purchases the outfit.   </p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Magnus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>
  
</h1><p><b> <em>Magnus  </em> </b> </p><p>Magnus ensures that his date with Alec is late enough after practice that he has time to shower and change. He’s immensely grateful that he had the foresight to bring several date-worthy outfits to Nevada. <em> Just in case. </em> Dot had laughed at him for it, but he’s smiling smugly as he slips his last ring into place and turns down the collar of his jacket.    </p><p>He wonders if maybe he’s dressed too formally because he doesn’t actually know where they’re going, but he figures it's difficult to be overdressed in Las Vegas. </p><p>So with his shimmery jacket on and winged eyeliner applied, he slips out of his own hotel and walks down the street to Alec’s. It’s all on the same street as the rink, squished close together for the sake of participants. A fact Magnus is grateful for given the breeze that threatens to ruin his spiked hair despite the copious amounts of gel he’d used.    </p><p>Magnus ducks into the hotel lobby and catches sight of Alec stepping out of the elevator almost immediately. He feels his mouth go dry as he takes in the other man, dressed in brand name trousers that cling to his muscles and a nice jacket with fancy gold buttons. His eyes land on Alec’s soft, shy smile and he feels his heart soften.    </p><p>“Hey,” Alec is the first to speak.    </p><p>Magnus gives him a smile of his own. “Hello.”   </p><p>“You uh-” Alec’s cheeks go the same shade of pink as when he’d been overheating with exertion earlier. “You look nice.”   </p><p>“Thank you, darling. As do you. Have you had dinner?”   </p><p>Alec shakes his head, fidgeting with the sleeve of his jacket. Magnus tracks the movement, but regrets it when he sees the scratches alongside Alec’s nails where he’s clearly been picking at the skin. Magnus aches to say something, but he doesn’t know what- if anything- would be appropriate. They are still practically strangers, after all.   </p><p>“What do you feel like?” Magnus asks, forcing himself to sound casual as he leads the way back to the crowded sidewalks of the city. “There’s a Chinese place next to the rink, the smells have been tempting me all afternoon.”   </p><p>“That sounds good.”   </p><p>The first few steps are spent in a sort of awkward silence, adjusting to each other’s company and the noises of the street. Magnus distantly wonders if any of the passerby are skating fans, if they’ll see Magnus and Alec and put two and two together. Magnus wouldn’t mind, has never minded the gossip, but Alec seems more reserved.    </p><p>“How was practice?” Alec asks as they reach the delicious-smelling Chinese restaurant. It’s surprisingly small given the size of most of the buildings around them, a tiny shop crammed in amongst skyscrapers. Alec reaches for the door before Magnus can and, to his delight, holds it open to usher Magnus through ahead of him.    </p><p>Briefly distracted from their conversation, Magnus greets the hostess and lets her lead them to a table before he answers Alec’s question. “Stressful, as always. Texting you helped.”   </p><p>Alec narrows his eyes over the top of the menu he’s picked up. “Your coach lets you text during practice? The day before an international competition?”   </p><p>“<em>Lets </em> is a strong word,” Magnus replies, scanning the dishes before setting down his menu to run his eyes over Alec instead.   </p><p>Alec raises an eyebrow but doesn’t ask. Magnus takes the chance to change the conversation, turning silver ring on his pointer finger around and around. “What does your costume look like?”   </p><p>Alec blinks, but shuffles for his phone. He navigates through it before sliding it across the table. Magnus can’t help but smile at the picture of Alec and Lydia standing side-by-side in their costumes. Lydia is wearing a gorgeous sparkly white dress. Alec, in comparison, wears a simple white button-down with black pants.    </p><p>It’s far less glittery than any of Magnus’ costumes, but Alec looks amazing in it- of course. “I’m excited to watch you tomorrow.”   </p><p>Alec looks a bit like he’s choking on air as he fumbles his phone back into his pocket. “You’re going to watch me?”   </p><p>“Of course. You and Lydia were amazing in practice today, I’m disappointed I haven’t seen you compete before.”   </p><p>“You, I mean, you don’t have to...” Alec is fidgeting with his sleeves which makes Magnus’ stomach twist. He suddenly feels as if he’s said the wrong thing. At least Alec isn’t picking at his fingers.    </p><p>“Would you rather I not?”   </p><p>“No, it’s uh- if you want to.”   </p><p>Magnus gives him a small smile, hoping to calm the other skater’s nerves, responding in a genuine tone, “I do.” It seems to work because Alec’s hands go still and a soft smile crosses his own face.    </p><p>“I look forward to watching you too.”   </p><p>It’s the first time in too long that Magnus feels a hint of excitement about competing.    </p><p>   </p><p>The rest of dinner goes smoothly, consisting of casual conversation about friends and family and coaches that leaves both of them clearly more relaxed than they were at the start of the date. And with every new fact Magnus learns about Alec, the more he wants to see him again. Wants to get to know him. To have something <em> real </em>.   </p><p>So he stretches out dinner to desert, ordering a slice of heavenly chocolate cake that they end up sharing.  </p><p>“This is definitely going against my meal plan,” Alec mutters as he finishes the last bite, looking happier than his words might suggest.    </p><p>“There are worse things to cheat at,” Magnus responds easily, making a grab for the bill the moment it’s on the table.    </p><p>Alec pauses mid-reach, hand falling to the table. “I can pay.”   </p><p>“Let me, please. I asked you here,” Magnus reminds him, sliding his credit card into the folder and leaving a generous tip.    </p><p>“It wasn’t exactly a hardship,” Alec grumbles before softening, “thank you.”   </p><p>“It’s my unbridled pleasure.”   </p><p>Magnus glances at his phone as they leave the restaurant, finding it’s already bordering on nine. “When do you need to be back at the hotel?”   </p><p>“Probably ten, why?”    </p><p>“Care for a stroll?” Magnus feels an odd hint of nervousness at the idea that Alec might turn him down, but the taller man’s eyes light up at the suggestion.   </p><p>“Yeah, I’ve never been to Las Vegas before, I haven’t seen much of it.”  </p><p>Magnus smiles back at him, “Neither have I. I’ve driven through once or twice, but never really visited. A shame we can’t spend the night going wild in casinos.”  </p><p>The stifled laugh he gets in response makes him giddier than he expects. He thinks it’s unfair just how much he likes Alec. </p><p>“I don’t... I don’t know about gambling.”  </p><p>“Oh? Do you have bad luck?” Magnus asks, as they make their way down the sidewalk. He stays close to Alec, their shoulders’ brushing with every other step, to make sure they don’t become separated by the throngs of people. He wants to reach for Alec’s hand, wants to feel it in his own, but he worries it’s too soon for that kind of casual softness. He’s always been <em> too much </em>and he’d hate to scare Alec away so early on.  </p><p>“I doubt my luck’s good enough to <em> win </em>anything.”  </p><p>Magnus shrugs. “You must have a good poker face.” Expressions are a part of skating whether anyone admits it or not. Skating to an upbeat song with a solemn look, or vice versa, could hurt your artistic score. </p><p>“Sure,” Alec starts, sounding a little uncertain, “but I don’t know how to play poker.”  </p><p>“I don’t either,” Magnus admits. “Training twenty-four seven doesn’t leave much time for card games.”  </p><p>Alec nods in understanding. “If I’m not on the ice, I’m doing off-ice training or stretching or helping Izzy with her program or helping my mom at the rink. I don’t think I’ve ever had a hobby outside of skating.”  </p><p>“Hobby?” Magnus mimics, “What is this <em> hobby </em>you speak of?” His joke makes Alec laugh, a brilliant noise that reverberates in Magnus’ stomach. He stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets before he can reach out. “It’s impressive you and Isabelle are both so talented.”  </p><p>“Our mom’s a skater, she made sure we were skating before we could walk. She taught us at first, then hired Luke when we got old enough. She still helps with Izzy’s coaching, but she knows less about pairs.” There’s clear relief in Alec’s tone.   </p><p>Magnus hums. He can’t remember hearing about a famous Lightwood before Isabelle or Alec, but he asks anyways, “Did she compete?”  </p><p>“Yeah, uh, Maryse Trueblood. It’s her maiden name.”  </p><p>Magnus stops in the middle of the sidewalk, pivoting on his heel to gawk at Alec because how had he not mentioned that? <em> “Your mother is Maryse Trueblood?” </em>  </p><p>Alec is pinching the webbing of his right hand between his left forefinger and thumb, but he’s not picking so Magnus doesn’t let it distract him from the original subject. “Maryse was one of my idols growing up! The first American to land a double axel at the Olympics?”  </p><p>“Uh... yeah?” It’s clear Alec is embarrassed, but Magnus is slowly coming to the realization that he’s on a date with an attractive man who just so happens to be the son of one of his biggest skating inspirations. It’s making his head spin.   </p><p>He hadn’t thought much about Maryse since he’d joined seniors, but she had been a large part of his childhood. He remembers being a small child re-watching the Olympic event where she had landed the jump a year before Magnus was even born. She had retired later that year, because she had been <em> pregnant. </em> And now Magnus is standing in front of the man that fetus had become and he is <em> on a date with him. </em>He never expected his life to turn out like this.   </p><p>“Okay,” Magnus says, shaking his head and trying to focus. “Okay, I’m okay.”  </p><p>A smile is tugging at the corner of Alec’s perfect lips. “You sure?”  </p><p>“Honestly, Alec, you can’t just spring that on a guy,” he shakes his head at him. “No wonder you and Isabelle are so talented.”  </p><p>“Yeah, Izzy wants to be the first American woman to land a triple axel in the Olympics. I’m not sure if it’s really her dream or our mom’s but they’re both crossing their fingers for the 2018 Olympics.”  </p><p>Magnus is gradually getting back his ability to process normal conversation so he chimes in, “Dot won’t make it easy for her. She has the same goal.”  </p><p>“Dot?”  </p><p>“Dorthea Rollins,” Magnus quickly explains.  </p><p>Alec nods. “Izzy mentioned you train with her.” He grins when a flush spreads over Alec’s cheeks as he realizes what he’d said. “Not that we were like gossiping about you, or anything. She just- we went shopping earlier and I mentioned you and she was nervous about competing.”  </p><p>“I don’t mind Alec, honestly I’m flattered.” The idea that Alec had discussed him with his sister makes Magnus jittery. He thinks Alec might like him at least a bit, a reassuring hope given that he’s quickly developing a crush on the taller man. “What else did you say about me?”  </p><p>Alec groans, rubbing his temple with two fingers even as Magnus laughs. “Nothing.”  </p><p>“I don’t believe you,” Magnus teases as they circle the block, heading back towards the rink and hotel.   </p><p>“You should.”  </p><p>“You know, I talked about you today, with Dot and Raphael.” He huffs when he remembers, “I didn’t know you and Isabelle were related.”  </p><p>Alec chuckles. “We share a surname.”  </p><p>Magnus grumbles, “Shut up. It’s been a stressful day. But, I have learned quite a lot about you today, at least, about your family.”  </p><p>“What about your family? Any skaters? Or siblings?”  </p><p>Magnus feels sobered at the subject change. He tries not to show how defensive he becomes at the mention of his family, answering vaguely, “I’m an only child.” Before Alec can ask any follow-up questions, Magnus points at the towering hotel they’re approaching. “We’re almost back.”  </p><p>“Oh.”  </p><p>There’s definitely a hint of disappointment in Alec’s voice, something Magnus feels echoed in himself. “I would invite you up to my room, but... I want to do this right. I like you, Alec, I would like to see you again.”  </p><p>With all his cards on the table, Magnus waits nervously as Alec comes to a stop in front of his hotel, turning to face Magnus. “We could do something tomorrow night? After your skate?”  </p><p>A smile makes its way onto Magnus’ face and he’s sure it’s going to be there the rest of the night. He leans forward to press his lips to Alec’s cheek, a few centimeters from where he desperately wants to put them. “Tomorrow it is.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Alec</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The first day of competitions at Skate America!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I made this art before the bang happened and I got assigned the wonderful Kory as my artist so here *throws my attempts at art at y'all*.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p><b><em>Alec </em> </b>  </p><p>Alec stands just off the ice with Lydia by his side, trying unsuccessfully to push down his rising anxiety. They’ve already warmed up, but he and Lydia had drawn last and they still have two more pairs to go before it’s their turn to skate.  </p><p>Alec hates the waiting, hates seeing how<em> well </em>everyone else is doing, as he stands with nothing else to occupy his mind but his own worries. He’s proud of his competitors, of course he is, they’re impressive to witness, but every high score, every perfect jump racks up the pressure he and Lydia are facing.   </p><p>He shifts his weight from foot to foot, balancing easily on the hard guards covering his blades, and glances around the crowded rink. It’s not a <em>huge  </em>turnout- not like the GPF or World’s or, worst of all, the Olympics- and he knows men’s and women’s competitions will have bigger crowds, but it’s by no means small. The entire front row of the bleachers is dedicated to, and full of, reporters. Beyond that the stands are filled with eager spectators.   </p><p>If he messes up, everyone will see. Everyone will know. His mistakes will be televised internationally. He and Lydia will come in last and have no chance at saving their score with tomorrow’s free skate.   </p><p>The anxious thoughts are familiar, worries he faces before every competition, but they’re amplified by these large-scale events. Skate America is a qualifier event. If they do poorly here, they won’t make it into the Grand Prix Final.   </p><p>He doesn’t realize he’s been picking at the skin of his left thumb nail until he feels a sharp jab of pain followed by a sticky warmth. He glances down and finds he’s pulled off a small section of skin, the blood staining his finger.  </p><p>His first worry is that he’s going to get it on his costume. His second is that someone’s going to notice. He wraps his right hand around his bleeding thumb and nudges Lydia. “I’ll be right back.”  </p><p>Her eyes fall to his hands, a small frown stretching at her lips. She doesn’t have to see the injury to know it’s there. “Is it bad?”  </p><p>“It’s fine,” he lies. He’s going to need a Band-Aid to stop the bleeding, but the last thing he wants to do is give Lydia something else to worry about. “I’ll be back before we’re up.”  </p><p>Lydia nods, turning her attention back to the ice. She’s been dealing with his tendency to pick at his skin as long as he has. It’s become commonplace. Though, Alec usually tries to keep it from bleeding so much.   </p><p>He makes his way past the two other teams still waiting, trying to be as discreet as any man over six-foot can be. He’s halfway to the bathrooms when a familiar figure steps in front of him. Alec blinks at Magnus, dressed down compared to the night before, but still adorned in sparkly jewelry and glittery makeup.   </p><p>He wants nothing more than to stop and talk, but he can feel the blood on his hand and the roar of applause reminds him he has limited time. “I have to-”  </p><p>“I know, come on,” Magnus sets a gentle hand on his elbow. Alec is too stunned to do anything but let Magnus lead him the rest of the way to the bathrooms. He stands in front of the sink, finger bleeding and hidden. He doesn’t want to reveal his weakness to this beautiful, seemingly perfect man. “You need to wash it,” Magnus says, sounding almost perfunctory.  </p><p>Alec ducks his head as he realizes Magnus already knows,but he follows the advice, running his hand under the water until the blood is washed away. The skin stings where it’s been broken and new blood bubbles to the surface.   </p><p>Magnus holds out a small band-aid to him and Alec briefly wonders where it came from before he takes it.  </p><p>He pulls off the plastic and wraps the Band-Aid around his thumb, tight enough to suppress the bleeding. It covers his nail and people are probably going to notice, but it’s a small thing. There won’t be any journals or magazine articles covering it.   </p><p>He tosses the plastic away before, finally, raising his gaze to Magnus’ face. He’s terrified he’s going to find disgust, disdain, or any number of negative emotions. Instead Magnus looks concerned, but not truly upset. It’s an odd thing to see when Alec has spent his life being confronted about his bad habit. Even when there was concern, it was always paired with frustration that he couldn’t simply <em> stop.  </em>  </p><p>And, even though Magnus is probably going to never want to see him again- not want to date him- Alec grateful that there’s no judgement in his face.   </p><p>“Are you alright?” Magnus asks, voice soft.  </p><p>“It’s just a scratch.”  </p><p>Magnus shakes his head. “You know that’s not what I meant.”  </p><p>“I’m fine.” Alec is surprised to find it’s mostly true. Magnus is the best form of distraction right now. “Do you always carry Band-Aids with you?”  </p><p>He’s proud when Magnus’ worried expression shifts into a small smirk. “I’m a skater, Alexander, of course I do.”  </p><p>Alec smiles back at him. “Thanks.”  </p><p>“Of course. Good luck out there.”  </p><p>Alec swallows as the fears return, slightly muted but clearly there. He shoves his hands into his pockets and picks at the fabric of his pants.   </p><p>“You’re going to do great,” Magnus states as if he’s entirely convinced. Alec wishes he could share even a hint of that confidence.   </p><p>Magnus heads for the door, but before he opens it, he turns, rises to his toes, and presses a soft kiss to Alec’s cheek.   </p><p>Alec can’t do anything but stare at him even as Magnus steps back and holds the door open, ushering him back out into the rink. The sudden noise is almost overwhelmingbut Alec’s primarily focused on the tingle in his cheek where he can still feel Magnus’ lips. “What was that for?”  </p><p>“I wanted to,” Magnus says. “I’ll see you later.”  </p><p>Alec watches Magnus gracefully maneuver back into the crowd before he himself returns to Lydia’s side. The pair before them has just started their routine. Lydia offers him a half-hearted smile. “Feel any better?”  </p><p>“Yeah,” Alec breathes, scanning the rink. It’s too crowded for him to find Magnus in it, but the knowledge that he’s there- that he’s going to watch Alec skate, that he believes in him- it's inspiring. It should be nerve-wracking, but Alec just wants to put on his best skate to show off for Magnus alone.   </p><p>And that’s exactly what he’s going to do.   </p><p>  </p><p>They hit their ending pose just as the song ends. Their timing is perfect. Their program had been impeccable. There’s cheering from all corners of the rink and Alec feels like he’s on top of the world.   </p><p>He lifts Lydia back to her feet and they share a quick celebratory hug before turning with matching grins to bow to the audience. On their way off the ice, Alec picks up a medium sized stuffed giraffe while Lydia grabs a pink flower crown, placing it on her head as they hug Luke at the edge of the ice before making their way to the kiss and cry.   </p><p>They wait for their scores with bated breath, despite Luke’s attempts to draw them into conversation. Alec and Lydia are both the type to prefer to wait until the scores are announced to dive into what they did right and what they did wrong. Unlike Clary and Simon who will happily chatter with Luke even before they get their results.   </p><p>When the scores flash, Alec is momentarily disappointed. They’re in second place, directly behind Clary and Simon. Then he realizes exactly how high their score is, how close they are to the other pair. It’s a personal best.  </p><p>He feels another grin spread over his face as he hugs Lydia then Luke, all of them waving to the camera.   </p><p>Because they skated last, and scored in the top three, they have no time to cool down before the press conference. They barely have time to switch out of their skates and into gym shoes before they’re being ushered into another room to join Simon and Clary and Sebastian and Kaelie to answer the media questions.   </p><p>The first half of the conference is easy, common questions- how do they feel about today’s scores, how do they feel about their chances with the free skate- that Alec is used to answering.  </p><p>It’s not until a bald man in the front directs a question specifically to him that Alec feels his stomach clench. The question, “You were seen with Magnus Bane right before skating, are you friends? Are you dating?” feels incredibly personal.  </p><p>Alec knows other skaters deal with these types of questions regularly, but he’s always been very secretive about his (for the most part non-existent) love life. To be asked now, in front of so many members of the media, a question which answering honestly would reveal his sexual orientation, is intimidating.   </p><p>It’s only because of years of fielding questions that Alec is able to answer diplomatically, without stuttering, without flinching. “I met Magnus yesterday. He came to watch the event and saw I needed a Band-Aid,” Alec holds up his hand to show the material wrapped around his thumb. “He happened to have one and kindly gave it to me.”  </p><p>“How come no one has ever asked me if I’m dating Magnus?” Simon chirps from the other end of the table, an exaggerated pout on his face. “There’s pictures of us at the rink with Clary and Raphael during practice yesterday.”  </p><p>“Are you dating Magnus?” The bald reporter asks, looking ecstatic. </p><p>Simon sighs dramatically, “No, I’m tragically straight and, let’s be honest, he’s probably out of my league.”  </p><p>Alec hides a smile behind his hand when he realizes what Simon is doing, deliberately distracting from the original line of questioning. He doesn’t know Simon well enough to be fond of him, but he appreciates his dramatics now.   </p><p>After that, Alec relaxes as the questions return to the more usual ones. His thoughts do wander back to Magnus though. He wonders if they’ll ever get to the point that they’ll be ready to announce their relationship to the public. He can’t imagine they will, but he desperately hopes they might.  </p><p> </p><p>Later that evening Alec sits on the bleachers with Isabelle, watching the men’s competition. It’s not something he’s used to doing, though he’s certainly seen the event several times, but he’s excited to be there today. On Isabelle’s other side are Simon and Clary. </p><p>Alec doesn’t pay much attention to the skaters until the last group starts their warmup. Magnus and Raphael are in that group and Alec watches Magnus fly around the rink as he practices.  </p><p>“So,” Isabelle knocks her shoulder against his. She’d questioned him about his date extensively at breakfast, but he gets the sense she’s not done with it. “I saw your press conference. And the pictures.” </p><p>“There’s pictures?” </p><p>Isabelle pulls out her phone, swiping through it before handing it to him. He groans at the blurry photo of him in his costume, Magnus beside him. They’re not doing anything more than talking, but the comment section is going wild with guesses.  </p><p>He hands her back the phone as the warmup comes to an end. A skater Alec only vaguely recognizes takes the ice.  </p><p>“Relax, hermano, people are just curious.” </p><p>“I’ve been on one date with the guy,” Alec complains, “and people are already going crazy?” </p><p>Isabelle shrugs. “Magnus is popular. You had to know people would be curious. I’m surprised no one saw you and took pictures last night.” </p><p>Alec sighs, planting his chin in his hand, steadfastly watching the skater. “I just didn’t expect it so soon?” </p><p>“Well, now you know. Do you still want to date him?” </p><p>Alec doesn’t answer. When Magnus skates, he can’t look away, breathless as he watches the other man move effortlessly across the ice. By the time he’s finished and bowing to the crowd, Alec thinks it’s clear he’s going to come in first despite the fact that there’s two skaters still left.  </p><p>Alec tracks Magnus as he moves from the kiss and cry back towards the locker rooms. He waits till Magnus is out of sight before pulling out his phone and typing a text. </p><p><b> <em> That was beautiful.  </em> </b> </p><p>He doesn’t expect an instant reply, but Magnus keeps surprising him. </p><p><b> <em> You’re beautiful. Still on for tonight? </em> </b> </p><p>It’s a dumb comment to make him flustered, but it does. He sighs and glances at Isabelle. “Yeah, he’s worth it.” </p><p>She smiles back at him, somehow soft and smug at the same time. “Good, I hope it goes well then.” </p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Magnus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Magnus and Alec have their second date in Magnus' hotel room.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ft another art I made.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>
  <em><strong>Magnus</strong>   </em>
</p><p>Despite his desire to take things slow, their second date takes place in Magnus’ hotel room. Alec is, understandably, tired after competing and press conferences, and Magnus hopes to shield them from the public eye a little longer after hearing about earlier.    </p><p>The same reporter had questioned him at his own press conference and he’d kept his answer vague. He had half-expected Alec to cancel on him, to be freaked out by the attention, but Alec shows up at his hotel room an hour after he gets back.   </p><p>More surprising than that, though, is the bouquet in Alec’s hands. For a minute Magnus can only stare, taken aback. </p><p>“I, I wasn’t sure if you’d like them, but, I thought maybe? Isabelle said it was a good idea, but if you don’t-”   </p><p>Before Alec can stutter out an end to his sentence, Magus is reaching for the light pink flowers with a giddy sensation in his stomach. He has to clarify, still disbelieving, “You got these for me?”   </p><p>Alec nods, entering the room just enough to shut the door behind him. “I didn’t have anything earlier, to toss after you skated, but I wanted to give you something.”   </p><p>Magnus is used to the tossies and gifts from skating. He currently has a bag of them against the back wall of his room, to be donated to a children’s hospital later. But Alec personally delivering him a bouquet is different. It’s<em> more</em>.    </p><p>He pulls Alec into a hug, “Thank you.”   </p><p>Alec’s arms wrap around him in turn. “They’re okay?”   </p><p>“They’re perfect, Alexander.” Magnus can’t describe how much the gesture means to him so he doesn’t try. Instead he lets his gaze roam over Alec’s beautiful face, even worn tired the way it is now. “Can I kiss you?”   </p><p>In place of an answer, Alec leans down and presses his lips to Magnus’. The kiss is soft and sweet and chaste. It’s everything Magnus has gone too long without. So even though he’s tempted to deepen it, tempted to feel more of Alec’s skin under his hands, tempted to truly taste Alec, he keeps the kiss gentle.    </p><p>And when Alec pulls back to smile softly at him it’s worth more than any amount of tumbling around in the sheets for a single night could be. </p><p>Magnus turns, setting the flowers carefully on the desk, before glancing at the TV. “How does a movie and room service sound?” </p><p>“Great.” Alec shucks off his shoes and soon they’re lying on the bed, laughing over an animated movie and picking at fancy food.    </p><p>When they finish the food and Magnus has left the dishes outside his door, he rejoins Alec on the bed, moving in slightly closer this time. He presses his side to Alec’s before hesitating, waiting to see how his actions will be received.  </p><p>He wants to do more. Wants to curl up under Alec’s arm, wants to exchange sweet slow kisses. Wants to take his time exploring Alec’s athletic body. But he meant what he said on their first date, he doesn’t want to ruin this by rushing into it. So he waits patiently for Alec’s response.    </p><p>Alec moves slowly, a bit shy in his actions, as he slings his arm over Magnus’ shoulder, a warm weight. Magnus melts into the touch, leaning his head against Alec. He lays his hand on Alec’s thigh, just above his knee, and can’t push down his smile when Alec’s free hand covers it gently, exploring the three rings he’s wearing.     </p><p>Except.     </p><p>The movement draws Magnus’ attention to the plaster covering Alec’s thumb nail. Magnus turns his hand over, pressing their palms together. He runs his own thumb along Alec’s, no longer paying any attention to the movie. He can’t help but ask, “Do you do this a lot?”    </p><p>He feels Alec stiffen beside him and instantly regrets the question, scared it will drive him away. But then Alec is sighing and deflating. “Not like this. It’s not this bad usually.”    </p><p>“Anxiety?” Magnus guesses.     </p><p>“How did you know?”    </p><p>Magnus quirks a sardonic smile though he knows Alec can’t see it with the way he’s leaning against him, looking at their hands. They look good laced together like that. The paleness of Alec’s hand against his own darker skin, his rings a stark contrast to both. The only flaw is the scabs around some of Alec’s nails and the Band-Aid over his thumb.    </p><p>“I’ve been skating a long time darling. You’re not the first skater I’ve met who self-harms to deal with the nerves.”    </p><p>“It’s not self-harm. It’s not like I’m- like I’m cutting myself.”     </p><p>Magnus keeps himself carefully composed, not allowing his reaction to show. He runs his thumb over Alec’s again. “There are more than one kind of self-harm. What else would you call this?”    </p><p>Alec doesn’t answer.     </p><p>Magnus sighs, cursing himself for ruining their relaxing date night. Perhaps, it’s not too late to salvage it though. “Sorry, that’s a bit heavy for a second date. I just want you to know you’re not alone in this.”    </p><p>“Thanks,” Alec breathes.     </p><p>Magnus snuggles in closer to him, the excitement of the day finally catching up to him. His muscles ache and he needs to stretch again- he’d stretched right after competing, but he also does it every night- but for now he ignores it. He basks in Alec’s warmth and letts the conversation drift to softer, easier topics.    </p><p>    </p><p>Magnus doesn’t realize he’s fallen asleep until he wakes up with a body draped over his. He's comfortable and warm and the feeling of companionship is nice so it takes him a moment to realize that he probably shouldn’tfeel so at ease. He forces his eyes open to study the man that’s asleep next to him, long legs stretched over Magnus’.    </p><p>Alec looks peaceful in his sleep- a stark contradiction to the seemingly constant stress that follows him around when he’s awake. It makes sense given the intensity of their sport and Alec’s anxiety issues, but it’s nice to see him without it.    </p><p>Still, Magnus realizes he probably shouldn’t have fallen asleep. It’s bad date etiquette, at best. At worst, it could risk scaring Alec away when he realizes they slept together- only in the most literal sense- on their second date. Magnus knows they’re moving much too fast.    </p><p>But when Magnus goes to extricate himself from Alec- he at least needs to clean off his makeup and brush his hair- the other skater moves closer, wrapping strong arms around Magnus’ torso. Soft snuffles-<em> snores- </em>are coming from him and it’s so adorable, Magnus is tempted to stay put, to be lulled back into sleep.  </p><p>He might have given in to the desire if it wasn’t for the sunlight streaming in through the windows. It’s dim, but it’s there and Magnus isn’t sure when Alec needs to wake up or if he’d set an alarm. Magnus lifts onto one of his elbows and cards his fingers through Alec’s soft hair, “Alexander, wake up.”   </p><p>The pairs skater makes a mumbled noise before he blinks his eyes open. He startles, but when Magus expects him to pull away, he simply smiles. “Morning.”   </p><p>That<em> voice. </em>As if Alec wasn’t attractive enough all the time, his voice husky with sleep is the things dreams are made of. Magnus smiles back at him. “Good morning. It seems we fell asleep.”   </p><p>“Yeah,” Alec moves away from Magnus, but doesn’t get up, lying on his side instead. Magnus mimics the posture even as he worries about just how smudged his eyeliner might be. There’s no way he looks his best right now, but Alec isn’t leaving. “Sorry about that.”   </p><p>“We should have expected it really,” Magnus tries to sound nonchalant. “Watching TV in bed after a competition? It was bound to happen. When do you need to be at the rink?”   </p><p>Alec fumbles for his phone where he’d put it on the nightstand the night before. The way he blinks at the bright screen is undeniably adorable. “I’ve a couple hours.”   </p><p>“Perfect. Give me a moment to freshen up and we can grab breakfast?” Magnus is already moving, but he glances back to see Alec nodding with a small smile.    </p><p>“Yeah, I'd like that.”   </p><p>  </p><p>Over a nice breakfast delivered by room service and eaten at the end of the bed, Magnus asks, “Are you nervous?”  </p><p>“No.” Alec’s response is instant, automatic. He doesn’t pause from his eating until he catches Magnus’ raised eyebrow. Only then does he lower his fork with what Magnus suspects is a somewhat guilty expression. “A little,” he amends, “but free skate is where Lydia and I excel.”  </p><p>“Oh? Yesterday’s skate wasn’t you excelling? In that case, I can’t wait to see you today.”  </p><p>The flush that spreads over Alec’s face makes Magnus unfairly giddy. He’s left wondering how the man in front of him has somehow found the perfect line between being devastatingly attractive and ridiculously adorable.   </p><p>“Clary and Simon always have us beat with the short,” Alec continues, looking down at his plate. “So I guess there’s more pressure, but the extra time and our experience of doing better during the free... It’s hard to explain, but I’m not so nervous.”  </p><p>“And then it’s over,” Magnus adds. “And you can stop worrying until the next competition.”  </p><p>He’s surprised to see a grimace cross Alec’s face for a split second as he sips at his coffee. Rather than explaining his reaction, Alec asks, “What about you? Which do you prefer?”  </p><p>“The short,” Magnus answers without hesitation. He doesn’t know what his answer would have been a few years back, but now he answers with certainty. The short program, as the name suggests, is shorter. It means packing more elements into a shorter time period, but that’s beside the point for Magnus. It’s the event that gets him on and off the ice in the shortest time period. He swallows the bitterness of the logic and tries to focus on Alec instead of his thoughts. </p><p>Alec nods as he finishes his breakfast, making no sign of leaving. In fact, he leans back on one hand, holding his coffee in the other. He’s turned his stunning hazel eyes on Magnus who feels almost nervous under the weight of them.   </p><p>“I like watching you in both,” Alec says softly.   </p><p>His words make Magnus’ heart melt and hurt at the same time. He forces a small smile to his lips as he finishes his toast. “Thank you.”  </p><p>“Your skating yesterday,” Alec starts, his words sounding hesitant, carefully chosen, “it’s like the music moves with you. Like you command it all.”  </p><p>Magnus blinks at him, stunned by the compliment, unlike anything he’s heard before. All he can manage in response is a stuttered ‘thank you’.   </p><p>“I should probably go,” Alec says, sounding a bit regretful and not yet moving.   </p><p>“I suppose you have to get ready,” Magnus agrees. “Those skintight costumes don’t pull themselves on.”  </p><p>Alec snorts, shaking his head. “My costumes have nothing on yours.”  </p><p>It’s an accurate statement. Alec’s look seems is fairly minimalist, a complement to Lydia, almost a part of the background- not that his build, face, or skating skills would allow that. Magnus is on the other end of the spectrum. All of his outfits- skating and otherwise- are adorned with glitter and bright colors, tailored to be worn as tightly as possible.   </p><p>“I’ll send you my designer’s information.”  </p><p>Alec’s nose wrinkles. “I don’t think that’s really my style.”  </p><p>“Fair enough, you do pull off your current costumes quite well,” Magnus muses as Alec sets his now-empty cup on the bedside table and stands. He glances around the hotel room, likely trying to see if he’s left anything behind.   </p><p>Magnus stands as well, hoping he’ll get a goodbye kiss even if he’s not expecting it. He’s only kissed Alec once, over ten hours ago, and he’s dying to taste the other skater’s lips again at least once more before he leaves, coffee breath be damned.  </p><p>“Thank you for food and the movie and a- a place to sleep.”  </p><p>Magnus can’t help but smile at that. “Any time, Alexander.”  </p><p>“I’ll see you later?”  </p><p>“I’ll be in the front row when you skate,” Magnus promises, walking Alec to the door where he toes on his shoes. For a moment they stand in quiet silence, seeming to be equally reluctant for Alec to leave. Then Magnus decides <em> screw it, what does he have to lose?  </em>He closes the distance between them, tilting his chin up enough to press his lips to Alec’s.  </p><p>The kiss is as achingly sweet and gentle as the one from the night before. Magnus can taste coffee on Alec’s lips, but it does little to deter him. Especially when Alec’s hands curl into the lapels of his jacket, holding him close.  </p><p>Alec licks at his lower lip and Magnus opens his mouth easily, letting one of his hands move from Alec’s bicep to rest at the back of his neck, brushing his fingertips through the hair at the nape of the taller man’s neck. He thinks he could spend hours caught up in Alec’s kiss, but he has less than a minute to enjoy it before Alec is moving away.   </p><p>“Was that okay?” Alec asks in a low, husky voice that does things to Magnus he doesn’t want to think about when Alec is about to leave.   </p><p>“It was perfect,” Magnus assures him, squeezing his arm once more before letting him go. “Good luck.”  </p><p>Alec nods, taking one last look at him, before stepping out into the hallway, the heavy hotel door falling shut behind him.  </p><p>Magnus lets out a long exhale, his lips still curved up. He’s knows logically that they’re moving too fast. He knows he shouldn’t feel this caught up in Alec this soon, but he can’t find it in him to be upset about it.   </p><p>He’s finally excited about something again and that isn’t something he’s willing to give up easily.   </p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Alec</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Magnus and Alec confront the reality of their lives.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <b> <em>  </em> </b>
</p><p><b> <em> Alec  </em> </b> </p><p>Alec finishes Skate America with a gold medal. Their free skate had gone flawlessly, giving them a fifteen point lead by the end of the competition.   </p><p>The medal ceremony is always fun, especially when he and Lydia get to stand in the middle on the highest pedestal, even if it does require him bending practically in half to get the medal placed around his neck. The press conference is less fun, but when it ends Alec is pleasantly surprised to find a text from Magnus, asking if he wants to meet in the hallway by the lockers.  </p><p>Simon is saying something about a group celebration for dinner, him and Clary having come in second, but Alec is already tuning out, thinking about Magnus waiting for him just outside the locker room door.  </p><p>“I have to go,” Alec says, cutting off whatever Simon was saying about a nice restaurant a couple blocks north of the rink.  </p><p>“Are you going to come for dinner?” The shorter skater asks, looking slightly put off at being interrupted. </p><p>Alec shrugs as he shoves his feet into his sneakers, his skates already laced up in his bag with his costume and new medal. “I’ll let you know later.”  </p><p>Simon gives him a look that Alec steadfastly ignores, pulling his bag over his shoulder and leaving the locker room. He can’t help it if there’s a slightly excited air to his steps.  </p><p>He finds Magnus in the hall, as promised, looking at his phone. Some of Alec’s excitement turns to nerves, but he’s still riding high from his win so he finds the courage to press a kiss to Magnus’ cheek. “Hey.”  </p><p>Magnus blinks up at him, a soft smile spreading over his features as he pockets his phone. “Congratulations.”  </p><p>“Thanks,” Alec feels his cheeks pinken and he glances away, at the mostly empty hallway.  </p><p>And then there’s a hand in his, tugging him forward. Magnus leads him into an empty locker room and, before Alec has time to question it, Magnus is kissing him, pressing him back against the door. He curls his hands into Magnus’ jacket to hold him close as he responds just as eagerly, licking into Magnus’ mouth. Magnus’ hands are warm against his hips, even through his shirt, a teasing touch that leaves him craving more.  </p><p>Of course, that’s exactly when Magnus pulls away. He doesn’t go far, though, staying close enough that Alec can make out the gold specks in his eyes. “Sorry, I promised myself I wouldn’t rush this.”  </p><p>While Alec appreciates and understands the sentiment, he can’t help wishing Magnus would rush it. They only have two days until Alec leaves Las Vegas and now that he’s finished his competitive events, he wants to focus on Magnus as much as possible until he has to leave.  </p><p>“I’m not complaining,” he says in response, flattening his hand to press down the lapel that he’d wrinkled with his overeager hands. He loves that he can feel Magnus’ strong chest beneath the fabric. </p><p>Magnus places a much softer kiss to his lips before moving further away, out of Alec’s reach. “Where’s your medal? You’re not wearing it?”  </p><p>“In my bag. I don’t want to look like I’m gloating.”  </p><p>Magnus rolls his eyes, but his lips are turned up. “You’re allowed to be proud Alexander. Your skating was amazing today.”  </p><p>“You watched?”  </p><p>He knows that’s not the point Magnus is trying to make, but the knowledge softens something inside him. He’s proud of how he skated, even though there were several small missteps, and a part of him is desperate to know that Magnus liked it.  </p><p>“I did. You were stunning,” Magnus brushes a stray curl from his forehead and Alec ducks his head at the gesture. “Why do you think I couldn’t wait to get my hands on you?”  </p><p>Alec snorts, shaking his head. “I have to be back for the women’s short program, I have to cheer on Izzy. But I have a few hours, if you want to- to do something.”  </p><p>“That sounds delightful. Should I meet you somewhere?”  </p><p>Alec feels his brow furrow at Magnus’ seemingly innocent question. “Why would you do that? We’re already here.”  </p><p>“I figured you would want to avoid the press.”  </p><p>Oh. <em>Right. </em>Alec berates himself for forgetting that Magnus is famous enough that people care about who he dates. And Alec hasn’t known him long enough to be <em>dating</em> him. He still feels guilty, like he’s trying to hide Magnus when that’s the last thing he wants to do. “I’m sorry.”  </p><p>“Don’t be. We’ve been on two dates and known each other for three days, I’m not expecting you to brave the press. Besides, I’m sure you need to drop off your skates at your hotel. I can meet you there?”  </p><p>He doesn’t look or sound upset and he makes a good point, but some of the guilt refuses to dissipate. Alec pushes it down and nods. Before either of them can leave, he catches Magnus’ arm and tugs him in for another kiss.   </p><p>It's slow and deep and warm and Alec leans into it, curling a hand softly around the back of Magnus’ neck. Magnus makes a soft noise that has Alec wanting to use the empty locker room in ways that would get them both in trouble if anyone found out. Instead he breaks the kiss, nipping at Magnus’ bottom lip as he does.   </p><p>Magnus raises an eyebrow in question, but Alec simply shrugs. “I know you don’t want to rush things and I respect that. I just really wanted to taste you again.”  </p><p>Magnus makes another soft noise, closer to a groan. “Keep saying stuff like that and I’ll forget I ever wanted to take things slow.”  </p><p>Alec definitely isn’t smirking as he leaves the locker room, holding tight to the knowledge that he only has to wait a matter of minutes to see Magnus again.   </p><p>  </p><p>As much as Alec desperately wants to take things further with Magnus, he’s serious about respecting the other man’s boundaries. So, instead of pressing Magnus into the bed and thoroughly ruining him, Alec settles for cuddling and watching another movie over room service. Afterwards, they head down to the rink separately for the women’s short program event where Alec cheers on his sister as she comes in first by a slim margin. He spends the rest of the evening with his friends at dinner, wishing he was with Magnus. Clary and Simon- and Isabelle once she found out- had been insistent he join them.  </p><p>It doesn’t stop him from texting Magnus under the table and, when they finally finish dinner, Alec spends the night in Magnus’ hotel room again. There's no pretense of dinner or TV this time, just Alec asking if he can spend the night and Magnus curling into his arms.   </p><p>When Alec wakes up, he’s deeply content for as long as it takes him to realize he leaves tomorrow. He doesn’t know what that means for him and Magnus, but he can’t imagine it’s good. He wonders they’ll try to make it work long distance or if their ‘relationship’ will be limited to dates- and potentially hookups- at competitions every so often. Or if this competition is all he has.   </p><p>If it is, he wants to make the most of it. So he presses kisses to Magnus’ face until the other man wakes up with a smile on his lips. Alec enjoys a nice breakfast with him, talking about nothing and everything, and wishes Magnus good luck at his free skate.  </p><p>For a while he's able to forget the momentariness of their relationship. </p><p>  </p><p>The rest of the day is spent carefully avoiding thinking about how soon he has to leave. His worries press at the back of his mind, but he doesn’t voice them until nightfall. When he does, it’s not entirely on purpose. He can’t keep it in any longer so it’s over drinks at a hole-in-the-wall bar, celebrating Magnus’ most recent gold medal, that he brings it up. </p><p>He doesn’t mean to ruin the mood, but it’s getting late and thoughts of his flight out are crowding his head. “I go back to New York tomorrow.”  </p><p>“Tomorrow?” Magnus repeats, eyes widening. “Aren’t you skating in the gala?”  </p><p>“Yeah, I’m leaving afterwards, I have a flight out at nine tomorrow night.”  </p><p>Magnus seems to grasp his glass a little tighter, eyebrows drawing in. “I see. I’d hoped we’d have another day.”  </p><p>Alec nods in silent agreement. He’d never stayed long in the cities he competed at. There was always more training to be done, more practice to be had. Now he wishes that wasn’t the case.   </p><p>“Do you... can I see you again?”  </p><p>Magnus nods, sipping at his cocktail. “If you make it to the Grand Prix.” His voice is teasing, but the joke falls flat.   </p><p>Alec tries to hide his hurt behind a sip of his own drink. The alcohol burns, but it’s a welcome distraction from the realization that Magnus doesn’t want longer with him. That they’ll only see each other at competitions. “Okay.” He throws back the rest of his drink so he has the excuse of going to the bar.   </p><p>The brief walk gives him the moment he needs to think things through. He’s already falling for Magnus and he knows leaving now won’t change that, won’t make it hurt less. He might as well enjoy the rest of his night, appreciate what he never really had a chance with.   </p><p>When he gets back to the table, his mind is made up. He slides into the booth beside Magnus and presses their lips together for a kiss that errs just on the side of inappropriate for public.   </p><p>Magnus is staring at him when he pulls back. “What was that for?”  </p><p>“I just wanted to.” Now that he knows he won’t get this again, he’s determined to at least create memories he can hold on to. “Do you want to go back to your hotel?”  </p><p>Magnus blinks at him, likely surprised by the sudden shift in conversation and mood, but he nods and finishes his drink. “Lead the way.”  </p><p>  </p><p>The moment the hotel room door closes behind them, Alec is pressing himself to Magnus, capturing the shorter man’s lips with his own. Magnus reciprocates eagerly so Alec slides his hands under Magnus’ shirt, holding his hips tightly enough he worries about leaving bruises. A small part of him hopes he does. That he can leave a physical mark on Magnus if he can’t leave a more permanent emotional mark.  </p><p>Magnus moans under his touch, egging him on. He tugs up the other man’s shirt, trailing his fingers over Magnus’ abs as he does.   </p><p>But when he tries to pull the shirt off, Magnus steps back, raising a hand to his own lips. Alec stares at the sudden distance between them, confused until Magnus clears his throat. “I meant what I said about not rushing this.”  </p><p>Alec stomach twists as he realizes what’s happening. Magnus is rejecting him utterly. He feels his jaw clench. “You don’t want me, message received,” he grits out through the hurt and confusion and anger under his skin. He heads for the door before his hurt can show, but Magnus is speaking again.  </p><p>“That’s not what I meant.”  </p><p>Alec spins around, taking in the way the other man is almost curled in on himself. He looks so uncertain, so small. It doesn’t make any sense when Magnus is the one pushing Alec away at every turn.   </p><p>“Then what do you mean? What do you want from me Magnus? Just someone to waste time with for a few days?”  </p><p>“No,” the emphatic tone of Magnus’ voice gives him pause. “No, Alexander, I want <em>more.” </em>  </p><p>Alec narrows his eyes. “You don’t want to- to do this, and you don’t want to see me except at competitions- what do you mean more?”  </p><p>He sees Magnus’ face fall as he lowers himself gingerly onto the hotel bed. Two fingers, nails painted shiny black, fiddle with a cuff on his upper ear. “I’m sorry, I gave you the wrong impression. I don’t just want to see you at competitions. I only meant neither of us will have the time to, to actuallysee each other when we’re both training so hard.”  </p><p>Alec feels his anger fading because that he can understand. He lowers himself onto the bed, a few feet from Magnus. He rubs his hands together, hard enough to get a bit of friction. “So what do you want to do?”   </p><p>He hears the uncertainty in his own voice. He’s trying to prepare himself for his third rejection of the night even as he hopes for something better.   </p><p>“I know we haven’t known each other long, but... I would like to try. I’d like to text you, call you, perhaps video chat. I’d like to get to know you better, if you’re willing to try.”  </p><p>A long-distance relationship. It’s not the kind of relationship Alec had ever desired, but when he looks up and sees Magnus watching him with soft brown eyes, he knows he has no chance at turning him down. He’ll take anything he can get with Magnus. </p><p>“Yeah.” He holds out a hand in offering, palm up, smiling when Magnus takes it and interlocks their fingers. “I want to get to know you too.”  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Magnus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Magnus competes in Russia a week before Alec competes in Japan, both hoping to win and make it to the Grand Prix Final.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <em>  </em> </b>
</p><p><b> <em> Magnus </em> </b> </p><p>Magnus quickly realizes that talking to Alec over the phone and seeing him through the grainy video chat isn’t nearly as fulfilling as actually being with the other man. </p><p>But the calls and video chats do allow them time, between their three-hour time difference and training schedules that leave them both rugged, to get to know each other. Magnus learns that Alec is as sweet as he’d seemed upon first impression. He also learns that Alec is pretty much always stressed.   </p><p>Magnus falls asleep during their video chats more often than he’d like to admit, but Alec’s ten pm is his one am. And one in the morning feels much later when he’s up at six every day. And yet, Alec never complains and more than once Magnus wakes up to see the chat still going, Alec snoozing on the other side.   </p><p>The time difference gets worse when Magnus flies to Russia for the Rostelecom Cup, his next Grand Prix assignment, and their normal three hour difference stretches to eight. </p><p>It means more than Magnus can express when Alec calls him an hour before his short program (at two am Alec’s time) to wish him good luck.   </p><p>He, of course, chastises Alec as he pulls on his costume. “You should be asleep, you have to be up soon.”  </p><p>“It’s fine,” Alec answers, voice soft and tired. “I want to watch you.”  </p><p>Magnus feels his heart warm at Alec’s words. Alec only has a week of training until his own second assignment and he’ll definitely struggle with practice if he goes in half-asleep. And he’d still wanted to watch Magnus.  </p><p>It’s enough to make Magnus want to skate again, for the first time in a long time. He wants to do well for the sole purpose of making it worth Alec’s time and attention.   </p><p>“Thank you,” he finally says, feeling like the words aren’t nearly enough.   </p><p>“Go get another gold medal,” Alec responds. “I’ll be cheering you on from here.”  </p><p>They’ve only been dating for a month and a half, but that’s the moment Magnus knows, with absolute certainty, that he loves Alexander. “I-” he cuts himself off, realizing that he can’t say it for the first time over the phone. Not when the final is a month away and they’re both likely to be there. He can wait.  </p><p>“Magnus?”  </p><p>“I will,” Magnus quickly covers. “Get some rest, I don’t skate for another hour.”  </p><p>“’mkay, call me when you get back to your hotel.”  </p><p>“Alexander, that’s hardly-”  </p><p>“Mags. Call me. Otherwise I’ll be up all-night waiting to hear from you.”  </p><p>Magnus rolls his eyes, knowing Alec can’t see the motion through the phone call. He smiles softly to himself as he concedes. “Okay, I’ll call you. Go to sleep.”  </p><p>“M’kay. Good luck.”  </p><p>“Thank you darling.”  </p><p>Magnus hangs up and tosses his phone onto his bed. He wishes Alec was there with him, wishes he could hold the taller man in his arms, get a good luck kiss before he skates. For now, knowing Alec cares and is watching will have to be enough. Magnus finishes changing into his costume.   </p><p>He achieves a new personal best for his short program that day and Alec congratulates him, sounding half-asleep, until Magnus demands that Alec go to bed while he still can, knowing he has to wake soon. Magnus curls on his bed with a pillow to his chest and a smile on his face as he thinks about the skater who has so effortlessly stolen his heart.   </p><p>  </p><p>Lorenzo beats him in the free skate by a single point. Magnus still wins the gold with his higher combined total, but it’s an odd feeling to not come in first after years of being undefeated. He’d known he’d lagged in his skate, more distracted than he could afford to be, and tired. He’d known Lorenzo had added another new jump, but it hadn’t hit him that he might not come in first until he saw Lorenzo’s score flash across the large screen above the ice.   </p><p>He puts on a smile for the medal ceremony and the press conference, but rather than accepting Maia’s offer to go out and celebrate, he goes back to his hotel room. He flops onto the bed, rubbing at his temple with his fingers.   </p><p>He has to train more, train harder. He knows he’s been slacking and with the Grand Prix Final a month away, he’s realizing just how much. He’ll have to fight tooth and nail for another gold medal.  </p><p>Rather than inspiring him, like competition had done when he’d first started skating, it just makes him tired.   </p><p>He fumbles out his phone without getting up and dials Alec who, like the day before, had promised to stay awake until Magnus called. It makes his stomach churn with guilt, knowing how late it is in New York, knowing that Alec had stayed up just to watch Magnus place second in the free skate.   </p><p>“Magnus,” Alec answers on the first ring. “Congratulations.”  </p><p>Magnus grimaces, glad that Alec can’t see him. He should be proud, he’s earned another gold medal, but he just feels shaken and tired. “Thank you.”  </p><p>Of course, Alec somehow catches on even without being able to see his face. “Is everything alright?”  </p><p>Magnus bites his lip. It would be in poor taste to complain about coming in second, by a single point, in one event that hadn’t impacted the overall score much at all. “Of course.”  </p><p>There’s a pause before Alec speaks again. “Can we video chat?”  </p><p>Magnus is worried his feelings will show on his face, but Alec seems to read his voice like a book anyways and he’s dying to see the other man. So he agrees and presses the camera button, lying down more fully, propping the phone on the bed beside him. A moment later, Alec’s face and torso come into view, lit by a lamp he keeps near his bed. He’s stretched over his pillows and he looks tired, bags under his lovely eyes. Magnus feels the guilt swallowing him whole.   </p><p>“You should sleep,” he says softly.   </p><p>Alec props an arm under his head, not enough to lift it, just to rest it there. “I’d rather talk to you.”  </p><p>“Charmer,” Magnus teases half-heartedly.  </p><p>“Are you sure you’re okay?”   </p><p>Magnus lets his eyes fall shut, horrified by his sudden overwhelming desire to cry. He’s not sure if it’s due to coming in second or because of Alec’s soft, caring voice.  </p><p>He takes a shaky breath and holds back his tears. His voice still cracks when he asks, “Can we talk about something else?”  </p><p>“Yeah,” Alec’s voice is little more than a whisper. “What do you want to talk about?”  </p><p>He swallows back the urge to cry so he can open his eyes. There’s no point in being on video chat if he doesn’t get to ogle a shirtless Alexander. “Tell me about your day?”  </p><p>Alec doesn’t falter, launching into a story about how Simon had tripped over Clary’s skate mid-practice. Not during a routine, simply on his way off the ice to get more water. The way Alec tells it, the judgement in his face, has Magnus laughing.   </p><p>He feels better by the time Alec eventually drifts into slumber. He takes in the soft lines of Alec’s face, the little snores that the microphone barely pics up, and admits the words out loud for the first time. </p><p>“I love you,” he mumbles to Alec’s sleeping form, knowing without a doubt how true it is. He turns off the camera and resolves to tell Alec the next time he sees him in person. If all goes well next week, they’ll meet again in less than a month.   </p><p>Magnus falls asleep to thoughts of seeing Alec in person again, of holding him in his arms and kissing him and making soft declarations of love. </p><p>  </p><p>A week later, their positions are reversed. Alec is in Tokyo while Magnus is back in California. Another eight hour time difference, this time with Magnus being the one to wake up at insane hours to support Alec.   </p><p>He does it without complaint, calling Alec an hour before the short program is set to start.   </p><p>The last thing he expects is for Alec to answer, very clearly in the midst of a panic attack.   </p><p>Magnus can hear Alec’s harsh breathing through the connections and his first thought is that Alec has been doing some kind of warm up- until Alec greets him with a slight crack in his voice.   </p><p>Magnus shoots upright as he realizes what’s happening. “Alexander, put on video?”  </p><p>There’s no answer, but a second later his camera lights up with Alec’s face. It’s scrunched in worry and his gaze is unfocussed.   </p><p>Magnus hums, “Darling, talk to me, are you alright?”  </p><p>Alec focuses on him. “Sorry. Sorry, I’m just- I can’t stop thinking, sorry.”  </p><p>“No need to apologize. What can I do?”  </p><p>Alec shakes his head, the hand not holding his phone coming up to card through his hair. Magnus tries to make out whether there’s any blood around his fingernails, but he moves too fast and the video quality isn’t good enough to discern.   </p><p>“I’ll be fine.”  </p><p>“I know you will,” Magnus says softly, still aching to help in any way he can. “Do you want to do a breathing exercise?”  </p><p>Alec bites into his bottom lip and Magnus is worried he’ll break the skin, but he lets it go before that happens. He gives a small nod, lowering his eyes like he’s embarrassed. Magnus hates it, wishing he was in Japan just so he could do <em>something</em>.  </p><p>But the nod is enough. It’s a treaty. Alec is allowing him to help in the only way he can with so much distance between them. </p><p>Magnus leads him through one of his favorite breathing exercises. Breathe in for eight seconds. Hold for four. Exhale out for eight. He does it until he sees Alec start to relax. Then he asks, gently, “What’s bothering you about competing this time?”  </p><p>Alec scratches at his jaw, still too tense for Magnus’ liking. “I just-” his voice lowers, like he’s embarrassed to admit, “I really want to make it to the final.”   </p><p>“You will,” Magnus says with certainty. He’s seen Alec and Lydia skate and their first gold medal gives them a good chance.   </p><p>Alec nods, but it’s a jerky, hesitant motion. He bites at his fingernail, but it looks like he’s avoiding the skin. “I just really want to see you. In person.”  </p><p>Magnus swallows hard at the statement. “Me too,” he breathes, echoing the sentiment. “And we will. You’ll make it. Trust yourself, trust Lydia. You can do this.”  </p><p>Alec seems unsure, but he nods. “Okay, okay... I think, if I make it, I’m going to try to stay a few extra days- if you want to.”  </p><p>“Of course.” Magnus is already planning how to adjust his schedule to stay in France a little longer. “We can take the train to Paris and kiss under the Eiffel Tower at night.”  </p><p>He delights in seeing the blush that spreads over Alec’s face. He seems sufficiently distracted from his worries for the moment at least.   </p><p>“Yeah,” Alec agrees, looking a little breathless. “I’ve always wanted to see Paris.”  </p><p>“Then we’ll go,” Magnus promises. “You can do this Alexander.”  </p><p>Alec gives him a small smile and nod before glancing at something to his left. “I have to go.”  </p><p>“Alright. Call me after- no protests,” Magnus says before Alec can complain. “It’s only fair.”  </p><p>Alec rolls his eyes. “Fine.”  </p><p>“Good luck.”  </p><p>Alec thanks him and hangs up and Magnus retrieves his laptop. He sets up the stream to watch the pairs short program at NHK and then, while he waits, browses the internet for hotels and train routes from Marseille, where they’ll be competing, to Paris.   </p><p>  </p><p>Alec and Lydia come in third in the short program. It’s clearly not what he was hoping for, but Magnus reminds him that if he gets bronze at the NHK Trophy with good enough scores, he’ll still make it to the final.   </p><p>The next day Alec and Lydia have a silver medal and a guaranteed spot at the finals. When Alec calls Magnus after the competition, his cheeks are flushed with excitement and there’s a wide smile on his face.   </p><p>Magnus stays awake longer than he’d planned, celebrating Alec’s win with him. Sometime into their conversation, Alec mentions that he’s gotten approval from his coach to stay a few extra days in France. He’ll have to convince his mother, but he’s determined to make it happen.  </p><p>Magnus lets out a happy, sleepy sigh, and reminds them both, “only a week and a half.”  </p><p>Alec grins back at him. “I can’t wait.”  </p><p>“Me neither.”  </p><p>Alec’s smiling face is the last thing Magnus sees before he drifts into slumber.   </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Alec</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Magnus and Alec meet up in France for the GPF.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <strong>  </strong> </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <strong>Alec</strong> </em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec is giddythe entire plane ride. He thinks he’s equal parts excited about participating in his second Grand Prix and seeing Magnus. He might be a little more excited about the second thing, if he’s being honest.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It’s been almost three months since he’s seen his boyfriend, because Magnus <em>is </em>his boyfriend now, and he can’t wait to see him in person.   </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Lydia gives him odd looks the whole way, unaccustomed to his excited fidgeting and inability to sit still, but he pays her little attention. When the plane lands, he waits impatiently to get into the airport, drumming his fingers against his leg until they’re allowed out of the plane.   </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He ditches Lydia and the rest of his team the moment they’re inside the building. After talking about it, he’d managed to convince Magnus to meet him at the airport, something he’s incredibly grateful for now. They knew there were likely to be reporters- more focused on the single’s skaters, but Alec got his fair share of attention. It meant their relationship would become public information. Alec was ready for that- especially when it meant getting his hands on Magnus sooner.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">So when he finds Magnus waiting for him in the airport lobby, he practically dives into his arm, hugging the shorter man tightly to him and feeling Magnus hold him back. There’s a bit of commotion, a few cameras going off around them, but Alec is focussed soley on the beautiful man in front of him.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">When Alec moves back to greet him, Magnus tugs him into a soft kiss before he can speak. Alec reciprocates with a happy smile.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Pulling away just slightly, Magnus presses their foreheads together, “Hello.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hey,” Alec breathes, curling his fingers a little tighter into Magnus’ shirt, as if he could keep him nearby with a strong grip. It doesn’t matter that there are people taking pictures or that there will be gossip about this because holding Magnus feels like coming home. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I missed you,” Magnus says against Alec’s lips, pressing another soft kiss there. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec hums, about to state his agreement when he hears someone obnoxiously clearing their throat behind him. It’s followed by Isabelle’s voice, “You guys are adorable, but maybe save it for later?” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">As much as he hates to admit it, his sister has a point. Alec reluctantly steps back, even as he trails his hand down Magnus’ arm to interlace their fingers. Isabelle is grinning at them, but Magnus stays polite in his greeting, “Hello, Isabelle, how are you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I’m great, but not as good as you two, clearly.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec rolls his eyes at her, noticing the distinct lack of his skating partner. “Where’s Lydia?” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Isabelle gestures towards the baggage claims. “She figured you would be distracted for a little while.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“More like, she respects my privacy,” Alec mutters. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It only makes his sister’s smile grow as they head for the baggage claim. “If you want privacy, try somewhere that isn’t crawling with people.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“She has a point, darling.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec scoffs and shakes his head, squeezing Magnus’ hand tighter. “Fine, let’s get my suitcase so we can go somewhere more <em>appropriate.”</em> He narrows his eyes at Isabelle as he says the word and she rolls hers in response.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“You’ve waited three months to hang all over each other, I’m sure you can wait five more minutes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He wants to say that he definitely can’t, but then a young girl is coming up and asking Magnus to sign her notebook, gushing about how he’s her favorite skater ever. Alec watches with a soft smile and decides he can wait to get his hands all over Magnus so they don’t traumatize any of Magnus’ younger fans. It’s a sacrifice he’s willing, though slightly disappointed, to make.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It takes twenty minutes to get from the airport to the hotel and Alec doesn’t let go of his boyfriend’s hand the entire time. Now that he finally gets to actually touch Magnus again, he never wants to stop. He ignores the sly smiles Isabelle and Lydia send his way and the moment the elevator stops on the fourth floor, he’s dragging Magnus down the hall, waving over his shoulder to his sister and skating partner. They, like Alec himself, have rooms on the floor above.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“What number are you?” Alec asks, scanning the doors.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus chuckles and Alec can’t help but think it sounds so much better in person than over the phone. He tugs Alec a few steps further, using his free hand to retrieve his keycard and scan it in the door.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">As soon as Alec is in the room, he lets go of his suitcase to pull Magnus in for a much longer and dirtier kiss, uncaring of the door as it swings shut behind them. Magnus moans into his mouth and Alec devours it like a starving man.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He feels Magnus’ hands sneaking under his shirt, pressing warm palms to his stomach and back. Every touch is a comforting pressure that leaves him aching for more. He slips his own hands under Magnus’ shirt to hold tight to his hips.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">When Magnus pulls back it’s to nip at Alec’s jaw and press kisses to his neck, leaving Alec breathless against him. Then Magnus is tugging Alec’s shirt over his head and alighting his body with lingering touches, dragging his fingertips over the revealed skin.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Not worried about moving too fast now?” Alec teases, his voice low, giving away just how much he’s enjoying this. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up,” Magnus mutters, biting at his shoulder. “I’ve been dying to touch you since we met.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus slips a hand under his waistband and Alec can’t do more than gasp and mutter, “same” before attacking Magnus’ lips with his own.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">From there it’s not long before they stumble to the bed and Alec has the closest thing he’s ever had to a religious encounter as he takes Magnus apart beneath him. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">After what Alec qualifies as one of the single best experiences of his life, he lays stretched out on the mattress, Magnus resting on his chest. Alec drags his fingers through Magnus’ hair- a mess after what they’d just done- and basks in the feeling of Magnus’ overheated skin against his own.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I love you,” he murmurs, his voice soft in the quiet air.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus jolts and for one heart-stopping moment Alec is terrified he’s ruined everything with his declaration. But then Magnus is leaning onto his elbow and pressing up to slide his lips softly over Alec’s. “I had a plan you know.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec raises an eyebrow at him, smoothing a hand over Magnus’ golden back because he can. “A plan?” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus hums and nods, still leaning over Alec. “I was going to take you out to dinner in Paris at this wonderful restaurant I know and then we were going to go for a short walk to see the lights of the Eiffel tower at night. And then, with snow falling softly around us, I was going to tell you I love you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">His words make Alec’s smile spread wider as he imagines the night Magnus had planned for them. It does sound nice. “Sorry I ruined it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“You haven’t ruined anything,” Magnus murmurs, brushing his nose against Alec’s in a gentle gesture that has Alec practically melting. “We can still do all of that. But for now, it’s important that you know I love you as well. So very much.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Good,” Alec breathes, tugging him down for another long kiss that leaves his head spinning.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">All in all, he thinks this might be the best competition of his life, even if he comes in dead last.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Of course, faced with actually competing, Alec’s nerves return full force. He and Lydia are skating second to last, directly after Clary and Simon who consistently dominate in the short program.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Currently, Alec is pacing alone in the long hallway by the locker rooms, listening to the fast-paced, action-esque music that Raj and Camille- last year’s winners- are skating to. It grates at his nerves as he thinks about the talented duo. He and Lydia will have to give the best skate of their lives to compete with the other teams here and he’s terrified it won’t be enough. He’s terrified he won’t be enough and will only drag Lydia down with him. She deserves a more competent partner, someone that won’t choke right before a big competition.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">If he had his phone perhaps he would consider texting Magnus or Isabelle, for a distraction at least, but it’s tucked away in his bag in the locker room. He worries that if he goes to find it he’ll miss the change in music and somehow end up missing the whole competition. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">So he paces and tugs at the skin around his fingertips, biting it when it’s too rough to pull away easily. It leaves his fingers bloody and pained, but that’s a mere blip on his mental radar as he listens to Camille and Raj’s music. It’s almost his and Lydia’s turn. He feels sick. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">A door at the end of the hallway opens with a thud and Alec pivots, moving to hide his hands behind his back, expecting it to be Lydia coming to get him. Instead, it’s Magnus, a flurry of black and dark green wardrobe, face pulled tight with worry.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec practically lunges for him, closing the distance easily so he can press his face to Magnus’ shoulder, being careful not to touch him with his bloodied fingertips even as he wraps him up, solid and comforting.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Oh darling,” Magnus breathes, rubbing a hand over his back. “Come on, let’s get your hands cleaned up.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec reluctantly loosens his hold so Magnus can take one of his hands and lead him to the nearest bathroom.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry,” Alec mumbles as Magnus turns on the sink. Alec shoves his hands under the cold water, watching as it runs red and then clear again. He can’t bring himself to look at Magnus as shame makes his cheeks flush.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus hands him a damp paper towel and he dabs at his fingers until they’re clean. At least they shouldn’t be visible to the audience or the cameras. Lydia will probably notice, but he can trust her not to tell Luke or his mother. The one time his mother had learned what he’d done had been more than enough.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Are you alright?” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec shrugs, listening carefully to the music winding down. “I should get out there.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hey,” Magnus’ voice is gentle as his hands come to hold Alec’s face, thumbs stroking his cheekbones. Alec manages to meet his gaze and finds it soft. Magnus leans in, brushing his nose against Alec’s before ever-so-lightly sliding their lips together. “Good luck.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec reaches up to grasp one of Magnus’ hands tight in his own. His voice almost breaks when he speaks, “thank you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus ushers him back outside and Alec steadies himself, preparing to put everything he has into this program. For Magnus. For Lydia. For himself. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">They come in third behind Camille and Raj and Simon and Clary. Their score is higher than Alec expected, even after skating a clean program, so he allows himself to celebrate and makes a silent promise that he’ll do better tomorrow. That they’ll make up the point difference. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Then it’s his turn to watch Magnus compete. Magnus who comes in first by a landslide. Seeing Magnus skate in person is electrifying. The way he moves along the ice as if he was born to do it, every movement graceful, not a single step out of place. His jumps are large and powerful and he never stumbles or hesitates. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec could probably watch him skate for the rest of his life without growing bored of it.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">When they cuddle up in a hotel bed that night, too exhausted to do anything but make soft conversation with the television playing in the background, Magnus raises Alec’s hand to his lips. He presses soft kisses to each finger, even the two that have band-aids wrapped around the fingernails. Alec’s eyes water at the gesture so he buries his face in Magnus’ chest and holds him as tightly as he can. He prays he’ll never have to let go.  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Magnus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Magnus and Alec enjoy France.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1"> <b>Magnus</b> </span> </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus loves watching Alec skate. His movements are fluid and sure and the strength he displays makes Magnus want to drag him to bed for a different kind of show where Alec can put those muscles to use. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> He’s thrilled when Alec and Lydia come in first, earning the score they so clearly deserve. Magnus grins, watching their faces light up on the screen above the ice when the scores are announced. Alec smiles brilliantly through the whole medal ceremony and press conference. The moment Magnus gets him alone, he’s tasting that smile.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I’m so proud of you,” he says against Alec’s lips, working to get the other skater out of his costume. He leaves the gold medal around Alec’s neck when he’s bare of everything else. Then he proceeds to drop to his knees and worship Alec like he deserves.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> The next day Magnus wins gold in his own event. He spends the whole time more excited to explore Paris with Alec than his own skating or wins. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> He thinks, as he accepts his medal with a fake smile plastered on his face, that he shouldn’t feel like this. He wishes he could share Alec’s honest euphoria upon winning. Instead of being happy about coming in first, he’s simply bored. It’s a step up from the usual hollow state he associates with competitions, but he still doesn’t really care about his skating. He just wants it to be done so he can get on with other things. Now that he has other things- namely Alec- in his life worth spending time on. Still, Alec makes the win worthwhile when he lays Magnus out and explores his body, whispering praise against every inch of Magnus’ skin. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> It’s absolutely the sweetest sex Magnus has ever had. In fact he hesitates to even call it that, wanting to go with the much more cliched <em>making love. </em>Because that’s absolutely what they do. Magnus has to bite his lip hard so he doesn’t cry when Alec murmurs how much he loves him as he tips Magnus over the edge. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2"> They aren’t able to leave </span> <span class="s1">Marseille until Tuesday morning. Between their exhibition skates and the banquet dinner, they have to wait and skate and play nice with sponsors. Magnus bears it all with gritted teeth and a polite expression. The only moments he’s able to relax are those he spends with Dorthea, Raphael, or Alec. He spends the whole time dreaming about his upcoming little vacation with Alec.</span></p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Tuesday evening finds Magnus and Alec wandering down a cobble street in Paris, taking in the little shops as they pass them. It’s the dead of winter and the sky is dense with clouds, a chilly wind in the air. The cold is hardly a good enough reason to stay locked away inside in a beautiful foreign city. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus is enjoying holding Alec’s hand in his own, tucked away inside of the Alec’s coat pocket. He stays close to Alec, occasionally pressing their shoulders together so he can lay his head on Alec’s shoulder. He finally feels… content. If only they didn’t have the time limit hanging over their heads. Less than a week until they had to return to their separate homes and lives, hundreds of miles apart. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus distracts himself from that train of thought when his eyes fall on a jewelry store. He tugs on Alec’s hand, pulling it from his pocket, but keeping their fingers laced together. Then he pulls the other skater over to the shop.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> It’s warmer inside and Magnus can feel the blood rush to his face. He sees it mirrored in Alec’s pink face as he raises his chin out from where he’d tucked it into his coat. He blinks at their surroundings. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus tugs him to the nearest case, scanning the selection carefully. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “What are you looking for?” Alec asks, tightening his fingers around Magnus’.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “You’ll see,” Magnus promises, pressing a kiss to Alec’s cheek before reluctantly letting go of his hand. He leaves Alec looking over the necklaces at the front of the store to find an employee.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> One stumbled conversation of broken English (the shop owner) and broken French (Magnus) later, Magnus has a small bag dangling from his fingertips. He finds Alec studying an antique bronze bracelet.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “I found what I was looking for,” Magnus informs him, holding up the bag.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Alec raises an eyebrow. “Do I get to see?”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “Of course, it’s for you.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Alec’s face had lost the pink tint from the cold, but now his cheeks darken again. He eyes the bag. “You got me something?”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “I did, come on.” He fumbles for Alec’s hand with his free one and leads him back outside. Soft snow flakes are drifting down now so Magnus heads in the direction of a cafe he’d looked up before they left the hotel. It’s where they’d been headed before he’d gotten distracted.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “You didn’t have to buy me something,” Alec says quietly.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus smiles back at him, heart warming when he sees the little white snow flakes melting on Alec’s eyelashes. “I know darling.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> The cafe is only a few shops down and Magnus and Alec both relax into the warmth of it. Once they’ve placed their orders and found seats by the window where they can watch the snow fall, Magnus pulls out the bag. He takes out the ring box from inside it and opens it out towards Alec. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Alec’s gaze flicks between Magnus and the ring. “You… bought me a ring?”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “It’s not a proposal,” Magnus instantly clarifies. As much as he thinks he’d like to spend forever with Alec, he knows it’s far too soon for that kind of thing. “Trust me, you’d know if I was proposing.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “I don’t know how you’d beat the romantic atmosphere of a cozy cafe in Paris while it snows outside,” Alec teases, reaching out to hesitantly pick up the ring.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus rolls his eyes, but focuses on the piece of jewelry. “It’s a fidget ring. The middle spins around. I know you won’t be able to wear it when you skate, but I thought perhaps it could help in the moments leading up to that. You can fidget with this rather than your nails and just leave it with your hard guards.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Alec’s eyes widen as he spins the middle of the ring, holding it between two fingers. “I… thank you.” He slides the ring onto his middle finger as a waiter delivers their drinks. The ring fits Alec, both in size and style. It’s a simple design, all black, and only as thick as it needs to be to have a sufficient spinning surface. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “I know there’s no easy fix to anxiety, but I hate to see your hands so beat up during competitions.” Magnus takes the hand with the ring and presses a kiss to the thumb nail where the skin on either side has been picked raw and barely scabbed over.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “I love it Magnus.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus smiles at the soft expression on Alec’s face. He kisses Alec’s knuckle before gently setting his hand down and turning the conversation to their dinner plans.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Two days later, Magnus wakes up to find a Alec twisting his new ring around and around his finger. He’s staring blankly at the wall in front of him, a crease denting his eyebrows. His chest is moving too fast, like he’s hyperventilating.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus is instantly on edge, pushing himself into a sitting position. “Alexander? Is something wrong?”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Alec’s eyes cut over to him. Rather than answering, he bites at his own bottom lip, hard enough that Magnus worries he’ll break the skin. Magnus reaches out and runs a thumb over Alec’s lip so he’ll release it. “Talk to me darling.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “Can’t- can’t breathe,” Alec punches out, drawing in a stuttering breath.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus swallows and closes the space between them, pressing his hand to Alec’s chest. “Breathe with me. Inhale, one, two three, four.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus counts him through inhales, holding, releasing, in sets of four, until Alec visibly relaxes. He still twists the ring around his finger, but that’s what it’s there for.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “Sorry,” Alec says lowly, glancing at the blankets.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “What happened?” Magnus asks in return. There’s nothing obviously out of the normal so he thinks whatever it was must have taken place inside Alec’s head. Magnus is no stranger to negative thought spirals.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Alec shakes his head. “I just… I don’t want to go back. To how it was.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus doesn’t follow. He runs a hand through his hair, knowing he has bedhead, but uncaring of it when Alec is still clearly upset. “I’m afraid you’ll need to explain just a bit more.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “Now that I know what it’s like, to really be with you. To hold your hand and hear your voice in person, and kiss you, and make love to you- I don’t want to go back to just phone calls and video chats. It’s dumb-”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “It is not dumb,” Magnus interrupts. “I’m not looking forward to it either.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “And I’m worried,” Alec continues, still avoiding eye contact, “that if we’re not close, we’ll… drift apart. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be who I was before I met you.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus swallows hard at the heavy admission, but his own feelings echo his boyfriend’s words. He reaches out a hand for Alec’s, threading their fingers together. “You won’t lose me. Besides, it’s only for a month this time and then we’ll see each other at Nationals.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “And then it will be two months until Worlds and after that… Will we have to wait seven months until the next Grand Prix season starts?” Alec turns and curls in towards Magnus, nuzzling his head into Magnus’ shoulder, arms circling around him.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus holds him back, trying not to catastrophize in the way Alec is. But he’s right. Magnus doesn’t want to go two months without seeing him, let alone seven. “I’ll visit you, during the off-season, if you’ll have me.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “You’d do that?” Alec looks up at him with such a hopefully sad expression that it makes Magnus’ heart ache. He presses a kiss to Alec’s forehead.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “Gladly.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Alec sighs against his neck, “I help my mom teach a summer camp during the off season. We can always use more celebrity help, if you want.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus has never coached before, never even really considered it. But coaching a summer camp with his boyfriend and his childhood idol? He thinks that will far surpass his usual off-season plans of sleeping all day between practices and occasionally hitting clubs.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “I would love to,” Magnus murmurs, running a hand down Alec’s side, fingers skimming over his ribs. “You’ll show me where you train? And your apartment?”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Alec nods. “Jace will be there most of the time though.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Alec’s brother. The national hockey league player that Magnus has yet to meet, but has heard brief conversations transpiring between him and Alec over various video calls. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus pouts, rolling so he’s hovering over Alec. “So we have to be quiet?”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Alec smiles back up at him, adorable and tempting at the same time. “Only when he’s home.” He lifts up and pulls Magnus to meet him halfway for a scorching kiss.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Leaving is hard despite their new plans.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus sits with Alec at his terminal in the airport, curled against his side. He thinks they’re both feeling quietly miserable, but he doesn’t let it ruin their last moments together for a month. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> When Alec’s flight starts boarding, Magnus tugs Alec in for a long kiss, promising that they’ll see each other soon. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Alec’s eyes are shiny as he murmurs a soft, “I love you.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> “I love you too,” Magnus all but whispers, willing himself not to cry. He’s never had to say such difficult goodbyes to a lover before. He’s never loved someone the way he loves Alec. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> Alec eventually has to leave, has to board his plane. Magnus has to find his own terminal and sink into a plastic seat, cold and alone. He comforts himself with the knowledge that the summer will be theirs. <em>All</em> summer. Mornings and mornings of waking up beside Alec, spending days with him, falling asleep beside him. He can’t wait for the skating season to end.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Alec</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Magnus and Alec compete in Worlds in Japan.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <b> <em>Alec</em> </b>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Nationals is almost a blur for how fast it goes by. Lydia and Alec get another hard-earned gold medal, as does Magnus. Isabelle gets gold as well, making up for her earlier bronze at the Grand Prix Final. Alec spends every second of the competition that he’s able at Magnus’s side. They spend their time in their shared hotel room and exploring the city. The wonderful hours spent together only makes the time between Nationals and Worlds drag impossibly slower. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> When the competition finally rolls around and Alec lands in Tokyo, he’s ecstatic, even knowing that Magnus’ flight won’t arrive for another six hours. He’s so much closer to having his boyfriend back in his arms. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “You look happy,” Lydia comments as they follow Isabelle and Luke down the crowded street towards their hotel. Simon and Clary linger somewhere behind them. Alec won’t be surprised if the two get separated and lost. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I am,” Alec responds, feeling an unexpected but entirely welcome peace in his heart at the admission. He spins the ring that Magnus had bought him, more out of a desire to feel closer to him than to calm any anxiety. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Things are going well with Magnus then?” Isabelle asks, falling back in line with them, hooking her elbow with Alec’s as they enter the hotel. Luke gets their rooms settled while they stay back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Alec rolls his eyes, but nods. “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Are you nervous to introduce him to Mom?” Izzy knows Magnus’ plans to spend the off season with them in New York and she’s been almost as excited as him about it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Mom loves that I’m dating the, and these are her words, best male figure skater in history. And Magnus loves that Mom is the idol he looked up to as a child.” Alec can only imagine how that meeting is going to go, but he isn’t worried about it. He’s excited to see his mother and boyfriend admiring each other. It’s odd, but better than the two of them hating each other.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I never thought Maryse would approve of anyone you dated after you came out,” Lydia says, tapping her suitcase. “I think Magnus Bane might be the one man she’s okay with you dating.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Alec snorts. He’s had the same thought himself. Maryse has gotten better about his sexuality, especially after her divorce, but she still struggles with it. When Alec and Lydia were children, Maryse had been absolutely convinced they would end up married one day. They were just ‘so cute together’ according to her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Before Alec can respond, Luke is handing around key cards and reminding them of practice times and not to get too wild if they go out tonight. Which instantly leads to Isabelle suggesting they all go out to dinner together. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Come on, Magnus will love it,” Isabelle tells him as they take the elevator to the third floor. “And it gives him a chance to know some of us before he comes to the New York rink and gets ambushed by strangers.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Alec frowns because he would much rather spend the night in his hotel room alone with Magnus doing things that aren’t appropriate to even think about around his sister. But she has a point.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I’ll invite him.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Promise?” She looks too excited.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Alec rolls his eyes as the elevator doors open. He hopes Magnus will prefer to stay in. “Promise.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> It turns out Magnus <em>does </em>want to go. Alec only complains until Magnus shuts him up with a kiss that has his head spinning and promises to make up for the lost time once they return to the hotel room after eating.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Dinner is nice. Magnus fits in seamlessly with Alec’s friends and sister. He thinks they might all like Magnus more than him and he’s not even offended. He enjoys watching the easy repertoire between them, thinking how Magnus will fit in perfectly in New York. Then again, for as much as he dresses to stand out, Magnus seems to fit in anywhere.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> For a large part of the meal, Alec is thinking about a small shop they had passed on their walk from the hotel to the restaurant. Specifically, how he’s going to get into it to buy something for Magnus without alerting his boyfriend and ruining the surprise. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> It turns out easier than he expected when their group heads back to the hotel together. Alec tugs his sister aside to ask her to distract Magnus and, as soon as she realizes why he’s asking, she agrees easily.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> By the time they pass the shop, Magnus and Isabelle are deep in conversation about something fashion-related that Alec doesn’t understand. They’re at the front of the group while Alec purposefully falls behind. He glances at his friends before sneaking away to enter the shop.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> He scans the shelves of charms until he finds one that he thinks is perfect and buys it from the English-speaking shop owner, grateful to be in the middle of a big touristy city.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> By the time he rejoins the group, they’re almost back to the hotel. He sidles up next to Magnus and slips his hand into the other man’s. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus smiles at him. “Where did you go?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Nowhere,” Alec says evasively, pressing a kiss to Magnus’ cheek. He avoids the shorter man’s narrowed eyes by turning to his sister to say goodnight and wish her luck in her skate tomorrow. He’ll be there, of course, but it’s still nice. She wishes him the same and then they’re separating. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> The moment he’s alone with Magnus, he can’t keep the smile off his face. “I got you something.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> The shock that crosses Magnus’ face is almost devastating. Alec resolves there and then to get Magnus as many knick knacks as it takes to make that surprise go away. Magnus deserves to be showered in affection and if small gifts make him happy, small gifts he will have. “Me?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Alec takes the charm out of the pocket and hands it over, watching how reverently Magnus holds it. Even before he knows what it is, Magnus is treating it like it’s impossibly precious.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Alec clears his throat, explaining, “It’s an Omamori charm. For luck and protection. Not that you need it, but-”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I love it,” Magnus assures him, stepping forward to close the distance between them by pressing a lingering kiss to Alec’s lips. “I love you. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Alec smiles against his lips. “I love you too.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Their night is perfect. Every night with Magnus seems to be perfect. It’s the next day that things fall apart- just a little.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alec and Lydia come in fourth after their short program, a mis-step causing Lydia to fall midway through. Alec doesn’t let it faze him, refusing to focus on it. He can worry about it after their free skate, after they get their total scores.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> He spends the night curled up in Magnus’ arms, thinking and planning every step for the following day, attempting to do the math to figure out just how highly they’d need to score to place first.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> It turns out to be for nothing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> He and Lydia place second in the free skate and third over all. The point deduction from the day before had hindered them and Camille and Raj had integrated a new spin into their program that catapulted them to first place. Simon and Clary had done exceptional in the short program and well in the free, placing them in second.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Alec smiles through the vague disappointment, through the knowledge that after a wonderful season, this is how it ends.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> The smile turns a little more genuine when he finds Magnus afterwards and is reminded that the season ending isn’t all bad. Magnus will be with him in New York soon. Helping at the camp. Staying at Alec’s apartment. Almost all summer. Some of the disappointment fades.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Of course, it isn’t gone completely. Something Magnus seems to realize as he takes Alec out for a fancy Japanese dessert that Alec couldn’t pronounce if he tried.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “You did wonderfully today,” Magnus tells him as they explore the streets of Tokyo before Magnus’ event.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Alec shrugs, not wanting to argue but knowing Magnus is only being nice. “I can’t wait to watch you skate.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus smiles at him but doesn’t say anything further, simply dragging Alec into a clothing shop where he proceeds to pull out different outfits for the two of them to try on. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus comes in first after his short program, but he seems less than enthused about it. He smiles through getting his score and his press conference, but later that night, when they’re alone and curled up in bed, Magnus is mumbling something about how Lorenzo is getting closer to beating him each time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Alec frowns against Magnus’ neck, twining one of his legs over Magnus’. “You came in first though.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus hums, but he just sounds tired. It’s fair, given how hard competing is, but a little disconcerting. “I always do.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> On anyone else it would sound cocky. It still puts an odd feeling in Alec’s stomach because he’s the one that had come in third but Magnus is the one that’s upset. Alec isn’t angry, not really. He can’t be upset because Magnus feels bad, but he is confused.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “You say that like it’s bad.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Of course it’s not.” Magnus holds him a little tighter. Alec bites his lip, studying the fabric of Magnus’ tank top, hand pressed to Magnus’ chest, feeling his heart beating. “I just miss the thrill.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Alec can’t help but frown, wondering what thrill there could be in losing. He raises to his elbow. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus meets his eyes and then sighs, looking away. “Nothing, let’s find something to watch.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Magnus-”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus is focussed on fumbling for the remote and then flicking through channels, but he shakes his head. “Alexander. I’m tired, can we not have this conversation now?” He sounds almost desperate, pleading. It’s so different from the Magnus that Alec is used to that he gives in. He lowers back down, curling closer into Magnus’ side because he doesn’t understand their conversation at all, but he wants Magnus to know he’s there for him. They can figure out the rest later.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> The next day Magnus comes in first again and ends the competition with another gold medal around his neck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> The moment they get back to the hotel room, Magnus is dropping the medal into his suitcase as if it were from a local show rather than a top level international competition. Alec wonders if all Olympic gold medalists treat their other medals like that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Before he can bring it up, or even consider brining it up, Magnus is pressing kisses to his face, distracting him entirely. “The season is over.” He’s almost grinning and Alec can’t help but return it, curling his fingers into Magnus’ bejeweled costume shirt that he has yet to change out of. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “We’ll be in New York soon,” Alec murmurs, thinking about the time spread out in front of them for them to simply enjoy each other’s company.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Magnus grins and nips at his bottom lip. “A whole summer. For us.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Alec shows Magnus how much he likes the sound of that during a shower so long that the water goes cold. Neither of them minds much.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Magnus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Magnus arrives in New York City and makes a big decision about his future.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <strong>  </strong> </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <strong>Magnus</strong> </em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">When Worlds comes to an end, Magnus tries to hide how miserable he is that he can’t fly directly back to New York with Alec. It’s a little pathetic how upset he is that he has to head to California to pack and talk with Ragnor first. His coach is insistent that his plans don’t interfere with his normal off-season training.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It’s only a week longer, but despite his best efforts to stay busy, Magnus spends the entirety of that <em>long, long </em>week in terse suspense.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Until, finally, Alec is practically tackling him at the JFK airport, pressing kisses all over Magnus’ face.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus laughs in his embrace, clutching tight to Alec’s biceps and wondering, once again, how it’s possible for someone to be so strong. “I missed you too.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“How was your flight?” Alec asks, pressing another kiss to Magnus’ lips. Magnus returns it easily. He’d missed every inch of his boyfriend during their time apart.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“It was utterly delightful, long flights always are.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec rolls his eyes and takes Magnus’ hand in his own, threading their fingers together. His ring knocks against one of Magnus’, drawing Magnus’ attention to Alec’s mostly uninjured fingers. There’s a light pink color to the side of one thumb nails, from a moment before his free skate at worlds when the ring hadn’t been enough. It’s a far cry from when they met and each of Alec’s fingertips had needed Band-aids. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“You can nap at my place,” Alec promises, pressing a kiss to Magnus’ hand before pulling his suitcase from the carousel.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hmm, I do want to be in your bed,” Magnus answers with a wink. Alec grins as he tugs Magnus outside, towards the subway.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Any plans of celebrating Magnus’ arrival in Alec’s bed are cut short the moment Alec opens his apartment door. A blond man that Magnus can only guess is Jace is eating a bowl of cereal on the couch, bare feet on the coffee table, dressed in nothing more than a pair of boxers. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec scowls while Magnus blinks in surprise. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">The blond hears the door opening and turns to face them, not a shred of embarrassment on his face. He stands up to turn off the television and set down his cereal. “You must be Magnus!” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“And you’re Jace?” Magnus guesses, glancing at the mess that looked like it was entirely the blond man’s fault. Especially if the way Alec’s glaring is any indication.  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“The one and only.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec clears his throat, voice tight when he asks, “Why aren’t you wearing clothes?” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I’m wearing boxers aren’t I?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"><span class="s1">“Get dressed,” Alec orders tiredly, leading Magnus toward the hall. When they reach a bedroom, Alec sets Magnus’ suitcase against the wall with a sheepish smile,</span> <span class="s1">“I’m sorry about him.”</span></p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus is busy taking in the room, looking over the empty desk against one wall, the collage of photos above it, the medals hanging from a shelf on the other wall, Alec’s bed in the far corner. It’s not much in the way of design, but it’s very Alec. “I like your room.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec quirks a smile, settling his hands on Magnus’ hips to pull him forward until they’re pressed solidly against each other. But when he leans down to kiss him, Magnus has to stop him with a finger against his lips, reminding him, “Your brother is home.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“So I can’t kiss my boyfriend?” A hint of a pout crosses Alec’s face. It’s adorable and Magnus aches to kiss it. But… </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“You know how we get.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He can see the memories of their time at various hotels, and rushed hand jobs in locker room showers, flooding Alec’s mind in the way his cheeks darken. “Jace has made me listen to his hookups with random girls more times than I care to count. He can deal.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">And, well, Magnus is only a man. A man who hasn’t seen his boyfriend in days. He drops his hand from Alec’s lips to the nape of his neck, pulling him in to connect their lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I love you,” Magnus can’t help but say, breathing the words across Alec’s lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">In return, Alec kisses Magnus harder before pulling back to press kisses to both his cheeks then his forehead, gently cupping his face in his hands. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus’ hands slip under Alec’s t-shirt, exploring the strong muscles under his fingers, when there’s a banging on the door.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Alec! Mom texted, she said she’s waiting for you at the rink!”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec groans as he’s forced to tear his lips away from Magnus, pressing their foreheads together. He calls back to Jace, “She can wait!”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus hides his smile, stepping away from Alec before his boyfriend can duck in for another kiss. “Your mother is waiting.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“So?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus rolls his eyes as he goes to his suitcase, pulling out a bulging makeup bag and making himself at home in Alec’s bathroom. He can feel Alec watching from the doorway as he spreads his makeup over the counter. He continues their conversation as he touches up the makeup he’d applied before his plane ride, “So. I want to make a good impression.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Because you’re meeting your boyfriend’s mom or because you’re meeting your childhood idol?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus’ lips turn up at the side as he darkens his eyeliner, amused that Alec sees right through him. “Does it have to be one or the other?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec rolls his eyes and moves from the doorway, towards Magnus. He wraps his arms around Magnus’ torso, resting his chin on Magnus’ shoulder so he can press a light kiss to the other man’s cheek. “You look perfect- as always.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus melts at Alec’s soft, genuine tone. He sets down the eyeliner and turns to face Alec, arms threading around Alec’s neck. “Thank you darling.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec uses the chance to steal another kiss that makes them late to the rink. Alec blames it on the subway, but Magnus doesn’t miss the smirk on Isabelle’s face where she’s standing beside Mrs. Lightwood on the ice. Only a hip-high barrier separates them from Alec and Magnus.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus holds out a hand to Alec’s mother. “Mrs. Lightwood, I’m Magnus, I’m a huge fan of your skating.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you Magnus, I’m a fan of yours as well.” Magnus almost dies as his childhood idol shakes his hand and compliments his skating. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He finds her to be as open and kind as her son and as welcoming as her daughter. Magnus has never been happier to tie up his skates and hit the ice. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">For the next month and a half, Magnus spends two hours every day at the rink, coaching small kids for part of Maryse’s camp. He spends an extra two hours each day training. The rest of the time, however, he explores New York City with his boyfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He’s happier than he’s been in a long time and even finds himself enjoying skating. Especially when he cuts his practices, run-throughs of jumps and spins and old programs, short to try choreographing instead. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He thinks Alec must be the reason for his newfound zest for skating and, in part, he is. Magnus doesn’t realize the full extent of why he’s suddenly so much more excited to be at the rink until the mother of one of his new camp students pulls him aside.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Madzie’s been a huge fan of yours since the last Olympics,” Catarina informs him, watching as her daughter takes off her bright pink skates. “We were so excited when we learned you would be helping with the camp this year.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you,” Magnus responds, smiling earnestly at the young girl. She’s one of the students who has shown the most potential in his group and she’s clearly dedicated to the sport despite her age. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“She’s learned a lot from you. I know you’re still competing, but if you ever decide to coach here, well, I know you’d have at least one dedicated student,” Catarina tells him.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It’s not the first time Magnus has considered retiring to coach. It’s what most skaters do, especially if they haven’t attended college like Magnus. He just always imagined it as a distant future, something to do when he was forced off the ice by the next generation passing him by or a bad injury.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Now he comes to the stark realization that, perhaps, he doesn’t have to wait so long. He’s been practically coaching for over a month and he’s loved every moment of it, watching the children improve under his advice. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">And now… perhaps it’s worth considering.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you,” Magnus finally says, still half caught up in his own thoughts. “Madzie is a wonderful student and a talented skater. Coaching her would be a dream.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Catarina blinks like it’s not the response she expected. But she digs out a business card and hands it to him. “If you decide to coach, let me know. I know some other parents that would surely love to have you as a coach as well.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus accepts the card, glancing across the rink where Alec is having some kind of lighthearted competition with his sister and a much younger skater. “I’ll be sure to let you know.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">They part ways and, rather than going to his boyfriend, Magnus finds Maryse. She’s writing something down in a notebook, but looks up with a kind smile when he approaches her.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Can I ask you a question?” He asks before he loses his nerve. Maryse has been wonderful, but she’s still his childhood idol and his boyfriend’s mother. It would be hard not to find her intimidating.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Of course.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“How do you know when it’s time to retire?” He can’t look at her for fear of seeing disapproval on her face. He’s already beginning to feel the shame settle in. Skaters don’t just retire when they’re at the top of their game.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">But Maryse doesn’t seem to judge him. “I think it’s different for everyone. Most skaters compete until they’re forced from the sport, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Do you want to retire?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus swallows, because he <em>does. </em>He’s wanted to for a long time, but he never felt like he could. There was always something to prove, some sense of heavy responsibility to do his job, some sense of loyalty to his coaches. He looks at where Alec and Lydia and Isabelle are skating and thinks about how in love with competing they all are. Even when Alec comes in third, he enjoys the sport. It’s written on his face. Magnus hasn’t felt that way in years.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I do.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I saw you talking to Catarina, does that have anything to do with this sudden urge to retire?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus hesitates, meets Maryse’s curious eyes. “She asked if I would ever retire to coach. That she would love to have Madzie learn from me. In that sense, yes, but… I’ve been done with skating for a while.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Well, I would be glad to have you as a coaching assistant to get you certified, if it’s what you decide to do.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Magnus smiles at her, relieved she understands. Then he looks back at his boyfriend, torn between joy and relief and fear. “What am I going to tell him?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“He’ll understand,” Maryse assures him, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently. “He only wants you to be happy and if he learns that skating doesn’t make you happy… Besides, when he realizes it means you’re moving here? Well, I’m sure he’ll be ecstatic.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Really?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Maryse laughs softly as she turns back to her notebook. “I’ve never seen him as happy as he is with you. I think he’d consider moving to California to be with you. You better not make my son move across the country.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“No ma’am,” Magnus promises, feeling himself soften. He skates away from her, to Alec’s side to press a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Alec raises an eyebrow, lips curving up “Hey.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Let’s go to dinner tonight,” Magnus suggests, trying to drown out the small part of him that screams that Alec won’t understand. Armed with Maryse’s advice and the way Alec looks at him like he’s special, Magnus knows this is what he wants and he has to believe Alec will understand.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Where do you want to go?” Alec asks, turning to face him more fully as Isabelle grows distracted. Magnus reaches out to push back the hair from Alec’s forehead.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Anywhere, so long as it’s with you.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Alec</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Magnus and Alec discuss Magnus' decision.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <strong>Alec</strong> </em>
</p><p class="p1">Alec can tell Magnus is nervous about <em>something</em>, but he has no idea what.</p><p class="p1">The off season has gone perfectly this far and they have another month before they have to worry about Magnus going back to California. The fact that it’s been almost a year since they met, since they started dating, seems odd to Alec. It’s both too short to know someone so well and longer than he’d expected this to last. He already can’t imagine his life without Magnus.</p><p class="p1">But he can’t figure out why Magnus is nervous.</p><p class="p1">Unless.</p><p class="p1">Unless Magnus has to go back to California early. Perhaps he’s about to tell Alec that he hasn’t been able to keep in good enough shape while in New York, it would explain the twitchy behavior and smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.</p><p class="p1">Suddenly that’s all Alec can think about. His stomach swoops as they enter the restaurant they’d decided on for dinner. They make easy conversation over their meals, but Alec can’t stop thinking, can’t stop waiting for Magnus to say he’s leaving.</p><p class="p1">Halfway through dinner Alec realizes that maybe he’s wrong. Maybe it’s worse than Magnus going home early.</p><p class="p1">He can’t say where the fear comes from because Magnus hasn’t done anything really, but Alec is nothing if not good at spiraling. So he shifts from thinking Magnus is going to leave to Magnus is going to leave<em> him</em>.</p><p class="p1">The thought has his heart pounding, his stomach aching, his mind racing. He replays the last month and a half in his head, picking apart everything he’s done and hasn’t done that would lead Magnus to wanting to break up with him.</p><p class="p1">When Magnus asks if he wants to go for a walk on the way back to Alec’s apartment, Alec nods, his heart thundering in his chest, his stomach a concrete block.</p><p class="p1">The leave the restaurant and Magnus pulls something out of his pocket.</p><p class="p1">The Omamori charm. Is he going to return it? Alec doesn’t know what he’d do with it.</p><p class="p1">Alec swallows hard and spins the ring around his finger, trying to calm his nerves. It only reminds him that Magnus was the one to give it to him. He wonders if he’ll be able to wear it without wanting to cry when Magnus leaves him.</p><p class="p1">He has to look at the sidewalk because looking at Magnus hurts too much. He should be trying to memorize the details of Magnus’ face, but when he tries, he can feel his heart splintering.</p><p class="p1">They walk in silence until they reach a small park where Alec had taken Magnus the first week he’d arrived. They’d tossed peas for the ducks and exchanged soft kisses under the tall trees. Alec stares at the bench where Magnus had curled into him and whispered how happy he was to be there.</p><p class="p1">He wonders what he’s done so poorly, how he’s failed so badly at being a good boyfriend, that it’s completely changed Magnus’ mind about him.</p><p class="p1">“Let’s sit,” Magnus says suddenly, heading for that exact bench.</p><p class="p1">Alec wonders if he remembers, if he cares about, the lovely memory they’d made there. The one he’s sure is about to be ruined. He follows, silent, and sinks onto the bench beside Magnus.</p><p class="p1">His boyfriend is staring at the charm in his hands. Alec glances from him to the lake. It’s dark and he doesn’t know where the ducks have gone, but it feels too quiet.</p><p class="p1">“I made a decision today,” Magnus states.</p><p class="p1">Alec’s head jerks towards him. <em>Today. </em>He’d decided <em>today. </em>Alec can’t remember anything about the day that would have caused this. He can’t think what he’s done. He wonders if that’s part of why Magnus is breaking up with him.</p><p class="p1">Magnus takes in a breath and Alec steadies himself for the worst. He doesn’t expect Magnus’ next words to be, “I’m going to retire.”</p><p class="p1">Alec’s stomach flips. He feels dizzy. He feels like a rug has been torn out from under his feet. For one brief second he’s relieved, that Magnus still loves him, that Magnus isn’t leaving him. Then he processes what Magnus had said.</p><p class="p1">He shakes his head. “What?”</p><p class="p1">“I’ve been thinking and I think it’s time for me to retire.”</p><p class="p1">“Retire?” Alec repeats, the word feeling unfamiliar and heavy on his tongue. “Why- what? You can’t retire.”</p><p class="p1">“Alec-”</p><p class="p1">But Alec isn’t listening. He’s terrified. Again. For an entirely different reason. “What would you do?” He stares at the charm instead of meeting Magnus’ eyes. “Is this- is it because you haven’t been able to train properly?”</p><p class="p1">“What? Of course not-”</p><p class="p1">“Then why?”</p><p class="p1">Why would Magnus want to give up one of the best things in his life? Why would Magnus give up his pursuit of gold medals? He wonders if it’s because Lorenzo is getting better, is becoming a real challenge. He bites back those words, knowing the way they would sting. He doesn’t want to hurt Magnus. He wants to understand. He wants Magnus to be happy, to not give up something he loves.</p><p class="p1">“Being here, helping with the summer camp, this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I want to move here-”</p><p class="p1">Alec can’t listen to this. He’s already shaking his head, jumping to his feet to pace in front of the bench. He’s enjoyed the summer as much as Magnus, but he can’t imagine wanting to quit skating because of it. “Magnus, you can’t quit skating for- because of us. I love you and I’d love to have you here, but you can’t, you can’t give up skating.”</p><p class="p1">“Alexander-”</p><p class="p1">“Please,” Alec’s voice breaks as he sits beside Magnus on the bench, reaching out to cup Magnus’ face gently in his hands. “You can’t give up your career for a relationship that’s not even a year old.”</p><p class="p1">“That’s not-”</p><p class="p1">Alec presses his forehead to Magnus’. “Please, say you won’t.”</p><p class="p1">There’s a long drawn out sigh and then arms are coming up to hold him. Magnus doesn’t say anything, but he holds Alec until they make their way back to his apartment in silence.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">Alec replays the fight, if it can be called that, in his head for the rest of the night. Even when he’s snuggled in bed with Magnus, he can’t stop thinking about how close Magnus had come to ending his career. Because of Alec.</p><p class="p1">It’s a horrifying realization. To know Magnus loves him that much. He returns the love whole-heartedly, but Alec knows he isn’t worth it. Isn’t worth giving up skating for. Not when Magnus is at the top of his game, on a winning streak.</p><p class="p1">The thoughts keep him awake that night. He stares at the wall, aware of how little movement Magnus is making. He’s pretty sure his boyfriend is awake too.</p><p class="p1">A moment later, Magnus’ voice confirms his suspicions, barely more than a whisper. “Alexander?”</p><p class="p1">Alec considers feigning sleep, but he’s too stiff to get away with it so he turns over to face Magnus. It’s too dark to see him well, but he can make out the general shape of Magnus’ face.</p><p class="p1">“I don’t like competing,” Magnus says, so softly Alec thinks he’s imagined it. But Magnus isn’t done. His voice is a little stronger when he continues. “I used to love skating. When I started. But I lost that. Competitions are better when I know I’ll see you there, but I still don’t enjoy the skating.”</p><p class="p1">Alec can’t say anything to that. He can’t imagine not loving it. So he stays silent, just listening.</p><p class="p1">After a moment of silence, Magnus keeps talking. “I tried. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. All I’ve ever known is skating. I considered coaching, but I was worried I wouldn’t be any good at it, I wouldn’t even know how to go about transitioning. And how could I leave the sport when I’m at the top? No one does that.”</p><p class="p1">Alec reaches out a hand, fumbling through the darkness between them because it’s all he can do. Magnus finds it and holds on tight.</p><p class="p1">“And then I came here. And I helped with the camp and- Alexander, I love it. I finally enjoy skating again,” there’s a quiet wonder to Magnus’ voice. It makes Alec’s heart hurt even as it melts. “I want to do that. I want to coach. I want to enjoy being on the ice. I understand if you feel it’s too soon for me to move here and that- that’s fine. I can find a coach to mentor me in California. But I’ve made my decision.”</p><p class="p1">Alec swallows. Magnus sounds sure of himself, so sure of his decision. Guilt swirls around Alec’s heart for the way he’d jumped to conclusions and begged Magnus to keep doing something he doesn’t even like. He hadn’t even considered that Magnus might not love skating like he does. “You don’t like competing?”</p><p class="p1">“Haven’t for years,” Magnus admitted, his thumb rubbing absentmindedly over the backs of Alec’s fingers.</p><p class="p1">Alec nods to himself. He gently presses towards Magnus, allowing the other man to adjust to accommodate Alec into his space. He ends up pressed against Magnus, their ankles hooked together, his fingers resting on Magnus’ chest. Alec is curled into his side, face pressed against Magnus’ neck. “You like coaching?”</p><p class="p1">“I love it.”</p><p class="p1">“Okay. I’m sorry about before. I didn’t- I didn’t understand.”</p><p class="p1">Magnus cards his fingers through Alec’s hair, a sweet gesture he doesn’t think he deserves. “I know. You thought I was doing it for you because you can’t imagine not loving skating. And, I admit, being near you would be an excellent perk of moving here to coach. However, it’s not the driving force behind my decision. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”</p><p class="p1">Alec presses a kiss to Magnus’ neck. Now that he understands, he wants nothing more than to have Magnus in New York with him on a more permanent basis. “Move here.”</p><p class="p1">“Hm?”</p><p class="p1">“You said you could coach in California. Don’t, don’t do that. The kids love you here and my mom will want to mentor you and- and I’d really like to have you here.”</p><p class="p1">He can hear the smile in Magnus’ voice. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”</p><p class="p1">“And, I know you’re not doing this for me and we’ve only been dating for seven months, but, I’ve been thinking about moving out anyways… would you rent an apartment with me?”</p><p class="p1">Alec’s heart is pounding in his chest. But all of the hesitance and guilt he’d felt before are melting into something brighter, happier. He wants Magnus in the city with him. But more than that, he wants Magnus <em>with </em>him, as much as he can be. And he knows when the skating season starts again, he’ll be busy with training and he’ll have to travel for competitions and Magnus will be busy with his own coaching schedule. But he wants to know Magnus will always be there. And he can be there for Magnus. In person.</p><p class="p1">“Of course,” Magnus breathes, putting his worries to rest. “I would love to live with you.”</p><p class="p1">“I love you,” Alec murmurs because he can’t not say it when his heart feels so full. “I’m glad you found something that makes you happy.”</p><p class="p1">Magnus hums. “It’s all thanks to you darling. You brought me here, showed me what I could be.”</p><p class="p1">Alec flushes and is grateful for the darkness. “What about the program you’ve been choreographing? If you’re not going to compete with it, what will you use it for?” He’s been watching Magnus choreograph at the rink in stolen moments, distracted from his own practices by the graceful lines of Magnus’ body as he dances around the ice.</p><p class="p1">“Actually, I have an idea for it. The summer camp ends with a show, yes?”</p><p class="p1">“Yeah. You want to use it there?” The students showcase what they’ve learned with programs at the end of the camp, but it’s commonplace for the instructors to skate as well.</p><p class="p1">“I do. But I have a few big changes I want to make with it. There’s actually something I’m hoping you can help me with.”</p><p class="p1">“Of course. You can show me what you have tomorrow,” Alec tells him, finally feeling the sleepiness sink into his body as his worries fade.</p><p class="p1">Magnus hums in agreement, holding him closer. “I will. Sleep well my love.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Magnus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Magnus makes plans to move in with Alec and the summer camp comes to an end.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank y'all for reading, I hope you enjoyed!<br/></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em> <strong>Magnus</strong> </em>
</p><p class="p1">Magnus is nervous to share his choreography ideas with Alec, but the moment he does, his boyfriend lights up.</p><p class="p1">“So we can skate together?” Alec clarifies, a smile pulling at his lips that has Magnus’ nerves settling. The morning had been a little awkward, both of them a little quiet, a little careful after the events of the day before. Now, though, Magnus feels them falling into their regular selves, their regular relationship.</p><p class="p1">“If you want to.”</p><p class="p1">Alec nods eagerly, finishing tying his skate and standing up to balance on his hardboards. “Teach me what you’ve choreographed?”</p><p class="p1">Magnus chuckles at his boyfriend’s excitement and finishes tying his own skates before joining Alec on the ice. He leads him through the program he’s spent the prior month working on. He’s a little nervous about it, his lack of experience with choreography worrying him, but Alec picks it up easily. He has a mostly formed program, with only a few rough spots where he wants to integrate more pairskate types of moves.</p><p class="p1">When he tells Alec his ideas, Alec bites his lip in thought before agreeing. “We can do a lift after the first footstep sequence.”</p><p class="p1">Magnus raises an eyebrow, studying his rather large boyfriend. “I’m not sure I can lift you.”</p><p class="p1">Alec rolls his eyes in response and skates to the entrance of the ice. When Magnus hesitates, uncertain, Alec waves him over, “Come on.”</p><p class="p1">Magnus follows, still confused, off the ice. They remove their skates before Alec instructs him to stand, hands at Alec’s shoulders. Magnus realizes what’s happening as Alec’s hands curl around his hips, lifting him off the ground. Magnus panics for half a second, but Alec’s hands are firm and Magnus can grasp his shoulders. He lets himself trust Alec, lets Alec press him up into a lift before setting him back down.</p><p class="p1">Magnus rocks onto his toes once he’s firmly back on the ground. He can’t help smiling at his boyfriend. “Impressive.”</p><p class="p1">Alec grins back, ducking down to kiss him lightly. “I lift Lydia for a living, you’re not much heavier.”</p><p class="p1">Somehow Magnus doubts that, but Alec’s proved his strength. He rolls his eyes and sits down to start putting his skates back on. “Alright, alright, let’s finish this choreo.”</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">A week later Magnus finds the courage to call Ragnor and tell him his decision. He’s pacing Alec’s living room as he waits for his coach to respond. Alec is watching from the couch, ready to comfort or back him up if needed.</p><p class="p1">Ragnor finally sighs and says, sounding extremely exasperated, “It’s about time.”</p><p class="p1">“What?” Magnus is blind-sided. He pauses in his pacing and sees Alec straighten up.</p><p class="p1">“Magnus,” Ragnor mutters, “You hate competing.”</p><p class="p1">Magnus blinks at the wall in front of him. “You knew?”</p><p class="p1">“I had to practically drag you to practice, you never followed your diet plan, and you sulked after every medal you won. I’m not blind.”</p><p class="p1">“Why didn’t you say anything?”</p><p class="p1">He can practically hear Ragnor rolling his eyes. “As if you would have listened.”</p><p class="p1">Magnus can’t help a small laugh. He sees Alec relaxing on the sofa and his heart softens at how much he loves this man. Which, brings him to his next piece of news. “And I’ll be moving to New York.”</p><p class="p1">“I can’t say I’m surprised. Is he worth it?”</p><p class="p1">Magnus turns to fully face Alec who has taken up scrolling through his phone. Bits of evening sun stream in through the window and turn his skin almost golden, highlighting his perfect bone structure. “Absolutely.”</p><p class="p1">“When will you be collecting your things? You’d better visit me.”</p><p class="p1">Magnus scoffs, moving to join Alec on the couch, tossing his legs over the other man’s and moving in close to him. “I’ll let you know when we’ve made plans.”</p><p class="p1">Alec’s hand rests on his thigh, squeezing lightly. Magnus smiles at him.</p><p class="p1">“Alright. Tell me when you’re going to officially renounce your retirement. You know I hate dealing with the press.”</p><p class="p1">Magnus swears he will and exchanges farewells with his coach before hanging up and pressing closer to Alec, resting his head against the other man’s shoulder. He feels Alec press a kiss to his hair. “You’re still sure about this?”</p><p class="p1">“Entirely,” Magnus responds, reaching for Alec’s hand to tie their fingers together. “I’ve never been more sure of a decision.”</p><p class="p1">“I guess we need to figure out when we’re going to California,” Alec muses in response.</p><p class="p1">Magnus hums, “We need to find an apartment.”</p><p class="p1">“Then let’s start looking.” Alec switches to the internet on his phone and pulls up a list of apartments that they spend the afternoon looking for a place to live.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">In the following month, Magnus announces his retirement publicly and answers a few questions, mostly about how he felt it was the right time to transition to coaching. He dodges some calls from newscasters and has long conversations about it with Dot and Raphael. He begins learning, officially, to coach.</p><p class="p1">Mostly, he enjoys his days spent in Alec’s apartment and helping with the summer camp at the rink.</p><p class="p1">By the time summer camp rolls to an end, leaving Magnus with an odd combination of pride and joy and disappointment because <em>it’s over</em>, the program has been perfected.</p><p class="p1">Magnus helps with the show, ushering children onto the ice when it’s their turn, ensuring their costumes look nice and their skates are tied properly. He cheers for each of them as they show off the skills they’ve learned.</p><p class="p1">He cheers especially hard for Madzie who looks adorable in her bright green dress and will continue under his and Maryse’s coaching once the camp ends. Magnus is sure she’ll make it far if she chooses to continue skating as she ages.</p><p class="p1">When the night begins to draw to an end, Magnus slips away to change out of his suit and into his skating outfit, knowing Alec is doing the same. They re-emerge in their costumes, meeting at the edge of the ice.</p><p class="p1">Alec looks stunning in his dark button-up and pants. Small crystals cover his shirt in a subtle rainbow pattern under the rink lights. Magnus’ own costume is similar; dark pants and a dark shirt with a bit more flair to it. Alec holds out a hand in offering, palm up, the fidget ring Magnus bought for him still on his finger.</p><p class="p1">Magnus wastes no time in sliding his own hand into Alec’s, threading their fingers together as they step onto the ice in sync and skate to the middle. They get into position, Magnus on one knee, Alec behind him, and wait for the music to start. When they hear the piano intro start, Magnus clears his mind of everything but the steps and the feeling of the ice below him, the air cool against his face, the soft music in his ears. Several times Alec picks him up for short spins or long glides across the ice. Twice they come together only to skate apart again.</p><p class="p1">When the music dwindles to a close, the last lyrics ‘I get to love you’ reverberating around the rink, Alec and Magnus are at the center of the ice, practically hugging, foreheads pressed together.</p><p class="p1">Magnus is grinning. It’s the most fun he’s ever had performing.</p><p class="p1">“I love you,” he says quietly enough that the cheering audience won’t overhear, unable to to keep the feelings in any longer when Alec is right there.</p><p class="p1">Alec presses a quick and chaste kiss to his lips, both of them still smiling. “I love you too.”</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">A few days later, Magnus goes back to California, Alec by his side, to pack up his apartment.</p><p class="p1">It doesn’t take long, but as they stand, staring at the empty apartment he’d called home for years, emptied of all his precious belongings.</p><p class="p1">“Having second thoughts?” Alec asks, arms wrapping around Magnus’ middle from behind, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. His tone suggests he wouldn’t be upset. Magnus knows him well enough now to know that he’s probably trying to hide his fear that his question might be answered in the affirmative.</p><p class="p1">Magnus leans into the embrace, folding his hands over Alec’s. “Of course not. I’m surprised I’m not more upset honestly.” He turns in Alec’s hold, meeting warm hazel eyes. “I can’t wait to live with you in New York.”</p><p class="p1">The apartment they’d found is already waiting for them, full of Alec’s stuff. It’s only two blocks from the ice rink, making Alec’s training commute and Magnus’ work commute short. It’s on the fourth floor of the building and has a guest room, primarily for when Magnus’ friends visit. Dot has already bought tickets to fly in soon.</p><p class="p1">“Me too,” Alec murmurs against his lips. “I’m glad you distracted me during practice back at Skate America.”</p><p class="p1">Magnus huffs, but he can’t keep a straight face. “How could I not?”</p><p class="p1">Alec smiles back at him. “Ready to go home?”</p><p class="p1">He sucks in a breath, surprised by just how much he likes the idea of going home <em>to </em>Alec. He thinks of their new apartment, filled only with Alec’s possessions so far, and smiles, imagining their stuff organized together, their shared living space. He nods and leans up to kiss his boyfriend once more. “Lead the way.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please go support <a href="https://koryandr.tumblr.com/">Kory</a> who made the wonderful art for this fic.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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